Imperfect 

We never stop growing, young or old, we never stop growing. This is a fact.

For a very long time I sought perfection, seeing my way as the only way but recently, I find more and more that even the older me would not like some things the younger me did. I was listening to Lupe’s new album Drogas Light. There’s a song titled Tranquillo in there, and from the title, you can tell that the song is about finding their tranquil space and I’ve been looking for mine. Here’s a snippet from Lupe’s verse…

Peace

No material possessions shall cloud my judgement

As I reach, in an ethereal direction to provide my substance

Love is not found but resides insides me, I manifest this

I will respect myself and wear serenity as my necklace

I will replace what I take and have tranquility as my breakfast

Shed a new light on a new path

I will gain rhythm and lose wrath

Attain wisdom and refuse graph

And build upon what I built on

And wisely regulate time I do have

‘Cause what is defeat?

But just the evidence of my haste

Lack of preparedness, in my waste

So I wait

Surround myself with nutrition, wholesomeness and true livin’

Use natural codes of conduct to remove the schism when the rules missing

I will pursue felicity, find value in simplicity

Altruism and empathy will be the first thing extended to my enemy

Clarity will be the trademark of my friendships

Just invest in my business

And appreciative of the rarity of my existence

Maybe we are just too perfect we are imperfect, or too imperfect to be perfect. Maybe it’s not too late to still be imperfect.

January Randomsies

Good morning.

I hope you are well.

These are my general January randomsies.

Randomsies (n): Hapharzard thoughts that crisscross my mind over a long or short period of time that determine the/my course of action. 

1. Breaking point. I am still looking for that threshold that will determine my reverse scale. Many filthy rich and successful people can easily determine that point that decided that for them, and mine was January. I am not yet filthy rich but January 2017 was a bottom line for me. I have never been as broke as I have ever been, frustrated to the point I opted for a mundane survivor kind of lifestyle. Still today, I am not yet out of this pit but I like the decisions I have made thus far. 

2. Anniversaries. Today, I turn 9 years old on Facebook and WordPress. Happy anniversary to me.

3. Know her friends. I once wrote a spiteful post about lunch with an ex that got some people asking me whether I was crazed in doing that and why I shouldn’t put it down. But for the sake of posterity, and the essence of what I felt then, I will leave it. It just that, like a dominoes effect, a thought occurred to me; do you know her friends? Especially the male ones. I remember one evening out when I dated this girl and one of her friends came over to say hi before asking her if I was still dating her? What? How and why he asked that put me off, thinking that maybe he was told something about a future break up. And from what I had known about him, she was quite close to him. Those friends of hers that became ‘brothers’! Anyway, know your partner’s friends and what they think/feel about you before you get shocked.

4. Love deep? Love strong? Love hard? This is naive poppycock and some deep rooted fallacy. Love yourself first before trying to attempt to love another. Go figure.

5. iPhone emojis vs android texters. I have this one friend who makes it a point to send emojis my android phone can not yet translate and thus it becomes a blank message. And then they make fun of me…and I am not a fan of this.

Uhm, I think that’s all 

Wine-r

How do ladies take wine? Frequently at that!?

How?

This has been on my mind for the last two weeks. What magic is embued in your bodies?

About two weeks ago, at a family shindig, there happened to be enough wine to compete with Jesus’ miracle in Canaa. Wine was flowing like the river Nile, and we were swimming in the river. It happened to be a family reunion that was a few months over due. Anyway, I decided to take wine seeing as there was no beer.

And I took that wine. I probably put Conrad in Namaqua, Conradaqua…

Whilst the government was celebrating and commemorating its conquering of the old regime, I was drowning myself in wine. Tumbler after tumbler. And the beauty about wine is it takes its gentle time to massage your ego before throwing you off the cliff. The evening was indeed amazing I even packed some for the road. 

I headed home, buzzed but not wasted. On my way, I got another box of wine before calling it an almost night at a friend’s place. We played with the box of wine like young children who had just discovered its exciting contents. Come midnight, I headed home still feeling fresh. The wine was still massaging my ego.

I get home, sleep off, buzzed but very ok. And it was at this time that the wine started to slowly push me towards the cliff. I awoke the next morning, feeling relatively ok. I did have breakfast as well. Seeing as it was a Friday, and I employ myself, I could afford to be late for work. I think having breakfast was the cue for the wine just pushed me off the cliff, and down I went. All my muscles ached, I got food poisoning, I could barely walk. I just crawled back to bed and napped. My body felt like a masseuse was hacking me, using a hammer to hit my joints. The fetal position couldn’t even do the trick. 

Ah, wine. Bloody wine!

My Friday was spent thinking about how I am never doing wine again. What horseless shit did I drink!? How do ladies do it? What black magic do you have to use before taking wine? I finally recovered at 2:00am that Saturday morning, and it was pretty late to go for work then.

Let’s just say I am not about that wine life. I am not a winer!

61 Days of January

Hunh! When is January ending?

When I was younger, I hated January. I simply hated it because I knew we’d be starting school soon. I didn’t care that it was this long, I just had the unsettling feeling that I’d soon be packing a suitcase and start rolling the mattress before heading off to boarding school.

I am now older, and I even hate it more. It’s like the devil’s little irritable cousin, or that neighbour’s damn dog that won’t stop barking half the night, or the baby next door who just learnt to cry. January is Snow White’s step mother who wants to kill her day after day, if Snow White was December. January is you getting home with 2% battery excited only to find your yaka is done! January is when the rolex guy gives you the thinnest chapati, and matches it with the most malnourished tomato.

Well, you get what I mean, dammit!

I have a feeling that like you, my new year’s resolutions have already been tucked, forgotten, ready to be opened again sometime next year. January are those friends who check on you just to ask for a favour, and forget you as soon as you hang up! People don’t voluntary decide to lose weight in January, January decides that for you, I mean, with your brokeness, you can barely afford a decent meal.

Well, January is almost done. And if you are wise, you should ensure January’s young brother February doesn’t become a nuisance.

Happy almost end of January, and happy birthday to my young brother, Ronald. And no, he’s not like February!

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays to you, reading this and to your people – family, friends and loved ones.

I spent mine 571 kilometres away from Kampala in Kidepo National Park.

I dare say that it was an amazing trip, with the family. It was a full day’s journey going, leaving Kampala, heading towards Gulu in the north where we had lunch. Gulu road is amazing, Karuma bridge and falls is a site to behold. 

From Gulu, we started to move east to Kitgum, where we got a little lost setting us back an hour or two behind. We finally found our way to Kitgum and then to Kidepo. Kampala to Gulu is about 330 kilometres, Gulu to Kitgum is about 100 kilometres on grade 1 murrum. And from Kitgum to Kidepo is about 134 kilometres.

Kidepo is a beautiful place. And I wish Ugandans would travel and see the marvel that is their country. 

Anyway, Kidepo is where I spent my Christmas Day, and from me and my family to you, Merry Christmas and a happy New 2017!

The family lifting off

Some of my photos 

World AIDS Day – PBL

When Philly Bongole Lutaya sang Alone about his plight after getting HIV, the lines that kept on playing in my head were ‘today it’s me, tomorrow it’s someone else, it’s me and you we got to stand up and fight…’ and these have set a precedent that has guided my life in one way or another.

AIDS -HIV in Africa, Uganda in particular has affected every family in one way or another. We have relatives, close family friends who have caught the virus and we have seen what it does to them and us. For a very long time I have hated to celebrate this day let alone consider it as important because every day, a child is orphaned by this crippling disease.

The thing about HIV for me is that it is greatly transmitted through man’s greatest canal desire, sex. I once remember an old doctor who came to our school, he was in charge of the ‘AIDS’ ward at Mulago and he was frustrated at how the disease cut across the age demographic. Old or young, anyone was susceptible and could easily get it. Seeing as we were in our final year of High School, he warned us and pleaded with us to be as careful as possible.

HIV in this day and age is now less evident physically with ARVs playing a big role. You can no longer tell the black spots and the thin bodied man who we thought had AIDS to the fat chubby good looking lad.

Do you know what you status is? And we are not talking about Museveni’s fabled Middle Income Status? I know mine and eventually I will go check again. The first time I did – Doctor’s recommendations, was when I was jobless and highly stressed. I had a fever, general body weakness and no signs of malaria or flu. When I did the full blood work, the lymphocyte count was slightly elevated than the usual and I was advised to check for HIV and Hepatitis.

WHAT? Check for HIV? How? I started reviewing my sexual history which was evidently not cause for concern, neither did I do drugs or had been in contact with anything suspicious. None the less, I did go and get tested and waited on the results.

When the doctor walked into, nervous and all, shaking and praying, I asked what the results were. He then proceeded to counsel me before eventually telling me what the results were.

We live in a generation that would rather be HIV positive than pregnant and that scares me. We live in a generation that is now hyper sexual, evident in the language and ease with which it is to have sex. A generation that has forgotten the countless parents, uncles and aunties, brothers and sisters, friends and extended family who have been affected by AIDS.

I spent most of my vacation nursing an uncle to health. I remember at one point thinking, will he make it? The pain and the struggle. I’ve lost countless relatives and I’ve lost a close friend to the virus. So yes, as we celebrate World AIDS Day, let’s not forget what it does to families. Let’s not forget how it would affect you. How it affects me!

Also, let’s not stigmatize victims of the virus. Let’s not hate them for having it because we are afraid they will give it to us. I love my uncle and I’d hate to see anyone’s hatred for him. To understand stigma better – especially for those who seem to be aloof about it, would you hate your father, mother, brother, sister, daughter, or son if they had the virus? No! So why hate someone else?

But, on this auspicious day, I write this to celebrate the man, the legend and great musician, Philly Bongole Lutaaya. I wish the country would feel the same way I do. I mean, it’s December, and if I am not mistaken, all our early childhood Christmases had him crooning all over our radios. He made my childhood, his music made my childhood memories, memorable. I wish we had a memoriam of this great man in our museum, or at the National theatre, a street named after him perhaps or even a monument somewhere! We need to celebrate this man.

Long Live Philly Bongole Lutaaya!

Stay safe. Protect yourself. Abstain. Get checked.

And if you have it, don’t despair, get counseling, surround yourself with a support system. And keep healthy.