well, am just thinking, obliviously you know what thoughts are, they come and go. am listening to this song by what i would call the two best rappers that blessed this soil, Biggie small and Tupac, ” dying to live” is the title. i sit down and reminisce, think about my life, i have made 20 not more than 2 weeks ago and yet i feel like a child, scared that anything i do wrong at this stage is a ticket to the jails in this poor country, that am fighting to get a job, my cousin only 5 years older than me gave birth to a baby girl, some red paper keeps on speculating the world is ending tommorow. i sit down and most of my friends i have spent my life with are out and about beating it to the rythm they best can identify with. i am almost down to tears coz all my friends are not there, all the good times we had are all i have, in my head. internet is what keeps me in touch but cannot allow me to fly over there, why am i dying to live when am living to die.