She is a….vacist?


I really dont want to delve into the poetics of how we met and how its ….at first sight, lets go 2 months down the road.

Men are beasts, we like the thrill of a good fight, and the warm tastes it comes with, but when the said beast is crippled, ( am not being literal here, dont want you thinking am a freak), it slows down the chase and soon, we throw in the towel and walk away, off to another kill.

So, i met this vacist, cute and all excited. She is above 18.

Me, Lion, roooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeddddd her heart out and she quickly gave in….but she is a vacist, these are things men hate.

1. Dont tell us of you high school boy friends and how they hurt you. They are boyfriends….we are MEN.

2. Dont try making us jealous. That’s child play, if we did try, you might call us monsters.

3. Calling me after every hour in a busy week is clear a tell-tell sign that you are mentally handicapped in my aspirations. And my boss hates seeing me on my phone. That is wastage of company resources.

4. You dont love me. Love is complicated let alone…has no meaning to us. Me, i dont have it in my vocabulary.

5. Calling me after midnight on a working day is wasting my resources. I need to rest my mind coz i use it for useful things. You, you are still in vac.

6. Issues. To me, trying to make money is a big thing. That your friend came to see you and brought with her your ka-high school sweet heart is non-of-my-business. Those are none issues to me.

7. Sex.

8. Never ask me about past relationships. They are in the past.

9. Family.

10. I am a man. I have needs. Young child, try “tolorating” this.

11. You shall never read this, speaking with you is like talking to a chinese dude….i need several dictionaries. Slung you call it, is not speaking English. Poor communication.

12. You actually dont know what i do?

13. People dont love after 3 weeks, I mean, seriously. Unless you are a sucker for that kind of thing.

14. I am not a virgin. Dont ask how? Dont ask, dont tell.

15. You are a virgin.

16. I have to give you all these reasons to tell you why men hate this. Men really hate this.

17. Am not a teenager.

18. You are a teenager.

I have given 18 reasons why the lion roared after killing a crippled antelope and just walked away. The meat there is not sweet. And FYI, slung is not English, honestly. I hate pakalast…and am a monster. Enough said.

Oh, BTW, the only reason why you will fail to read this is simply because…this is Written word…i should help you and try writing one in chinese.