Not yet

I thought i could stay away for long, but I was wrong. I deceived myself into believing that I need to concetrate on one rather the two things I was doing, but alas, its barely been a week and here I am talking to myself as I slowly compose what I write.

This is an art, one I never used to appreciate. When I was still young, I dreamt big, thought bigger and did little, yet here I am writing like I have found the secret to something.

Crushes are very funny things. I always get them and whilst I have them, I start to loose them and this takes quite a short while. But this has got me thinking. I was angry about two weeks ago, which saw my trips to Kikoni cancelled for good. I had a crush on this here little girl and decided to pay her visit. I carried along her favourite snack, popcorn, as this time I thought in my head, would be the time when i tell her how I have felt about her.

While in Kikoni, a couple of our friends happen to come by and chill. A game of scrabble was started but then again, these folk are from Kikoni, their attempts at a proper game were futile as the scores did reflect the difference. This was supposed to loosen me up as she went about her things.

But alas, crushes do come to an end. Whilst celebrating my victory, she gave the loser a frontal lap dance, which sort of reminded me of those white sex flicks, where the girl is atop the little boy. And my excitement was shuttered. That little bubble in my head burst and there was nothing more in there. I was disgusted but, I had to show face. I quickly faked an emergency I had to take care of at home and disappeared. I haven’t comfortably spoken with her and in that crush void in my head, a seething anger ripples at flakes of thoughts of ever having a crush on her again. Now, she’s just an enemy in my head.

Then again. it was my crush not hers so, why hate. Maybe that was her dude.

I have recently been a free dude. I call myself the Side dish. The side dish is either and appetizer or desert. Well, its what i do best, I fix relationships. I have never been one for those sultry deep emotions that run when people get involved. I always found myself getting tired. Well, thats why i like being a side dish.

I wanted to write a poem…

Not yet
I idle in my mind,
what could or couldn’t have been
a ripple i might have set
an effect infected invested in thought

Life is a journey. I still write my stories.

I have a crush! Only thing, i waiting for it to end!


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