No title!

The paradox that is and will always be women!

Deep in the dark abyss of my eyes, covered by the musky tears that form my eyes, I hurt. I hurt so bad, typing this post took awhile. Opening and closing tabs I did, trying to get the energy to pen the first word, and finally I have done.

I once laughed at the men who boasted they could never love one woman, their love was to strong to be contained, yet, here I was, in a fix, one that had me speechless as I saw what had happened. Was it that one moment that betrayed me? I sat and reflected on the first night we had met, when everything was perfect.

That night she had said something, something I hadnā€™t heard, but when I asked, I had found out. And what was my reactionā€¦ dead silence. I thought I should have asked, asked if what she said could have meant much more? But, never did I and here my assumptions and presumptions continue.

She hasnā€™t called, we last talked a while, and the last we did, it was in haste, like something she did was much more important than what I had to say. If we only could rewind time, but that will still remain and if.

You my crush are creating dilemmas in my head. I have failed to think straight and the skewed lines that form in my head are not any much better. I am afraid to tell you, for you insist you donā€™t care, and my pride is deep seated in there.

That is my paradox!

dashboard confessions!

Title of a band, right! Well, I am keeping this under 500 words or beyond that I will be confusing the both of us.

Depression!

I never knew I could be depressed let alone with the zeal for life I have had. But well, when the money goes, ans the bitches come [Jay Z] and the stress loads up, not even your body can resist that shit. SO, I last two weeks, I know what it feels like.

Death!

Well, its not a pleasant feeling, and when it happens, you feel the soul sucking dilemma of, when shall my time be, how and will i be free then! Well, the only truth is that our fate lies in that direction.

Women!

Dont we all love them! Well, I sat down and realised, amĀ allergicĀ to relationships which involve carrying handbags, constant texting, calling after midnight, and since am not fully employed, spending my money! So, until I find someone who can negate all those, am still going to whine about WOMEN!

Books!

Well, I do puzzle at my course choice and the implications it has, will have on me! Not that am complaining, but I should, 5 years is a very long time! And so I sit andĀ analyseĀ the three years, and ask the question, is that enough time to produce a work force that is going to walk on the streets. And I ask, with this system in place, can they [3 years] find a solution to an ever growing problem.

Social Issues!

‘Without the armour, what are you?’

“Rich handsome philanthropist and aĀ genius!”

If this was how powerful I was,then the world would be a better place.

Well, enjoy your day!

Peace.

Reading – Nothing

Listening – Going back to the LugaFlow roots

Watching – Nothing.

Quote;

Everything you ever wanted is right infront of your eyes, you just have to open them!

Resolve.

Well, this one comes a little light hearted, not the post, the word.

Resolve, ultimately what i need when am at the lowest of low, when nothing I come up with or face up seems to be going well.

Resolve, what you definitely need when bitch is stressing you. Ignore the calls, texts, Dms, inboxes.

Resolve, the power to be both courtious and hurt inside but still pull off the ramshackelled hair look.

Resolve, just that ultimate sensation you get when everything finally goes your way.

Well, a couple of friends say i hate a lot on things that concern me not and those that do, but well, i cant just help myself. YOLO is this craze that is eating away at our subculture and me being one trying to embrace it, i do sometimes apply it. Men always wear of facade of manliness but deep down, we hurt! Those consistent messages and calls, concerned voice when they call…simply means that the Ninja is worried and looking for a way out.

I was just like that a couple of weeks, which led to a one week binge of total chill and resource [money] wastage trying to cover up the anger, anxiety and pain. It did almost work but the loneliness always crept in at its worst, about the time when I was going to bed. Well, moral of the story is, I do now understand what it feels and means to do something like this to another person, but again, it doesn’t mean I am sympathetic because I would do it again if I found it necessary but it is always key to have resolve.

Resolve is that only niche that holds you between sanity and insanity and the balance between the two and how you go about matters as long as you remember, safety comes first.

Peace Out.