Remember that usher song where he was all, ‘these are my confessions’ and he let it burn…well, no, these aren’t. Well, maybe a little.
I am in Dubai…seeing the world. Awesomest experience ever.
Thats not the point…
Recently read my Ex’s status about why guys hurt them…well, I believe it was directed at me but well, I hold no grudges…I believe am grown and pretty much have a grip on relationships.
Reasons why I feel I have no grudge and she shouldn’t be all grudgy…
1. Relationships have life spans and unless you haven’t found the one you want your life to span with completely, then feel free to end it amicably and move on. Dont hold a grudge, the world is not at ends and well, you might miss the best because you are afraid to move on.
2. I never did anything wrong to her as pertains to hurting her physically, emotionally or sexually. I am clean. Always keep relationships substantially clean…dont go hurting people. Treat others as you want to be treated. Love like no other, hurt like no other. We love, and we learn and we grow. Keep it clean.
3. The relationship was in her hands. Relationships are about mutuality and if that is lost, well, there being a chance that it comes back to normal is a no-way. People who want to take control over the relationships and forget its two not one are not yet meant to be in relationships.
4.Always tell the truth. Always tell the bleeding truth. Never hide the past with the illusion you are protecting someone for when they learn about it, it never really is the best. Always be honest. One can learn to trust when you are honest with them, and even if they dont, they know where you stand in any given circumstances.
5. Love. I feel relationships are experiences added. We look at our parents with assumptions that they only dated each other…well, when they found the perfect match, no other mattered. But unless you are willing to love like no other, dont expect love from any /every other.
6. Put yourselves in their shoes. Its key to understand we are from different backgrounds…but let this not be the excuse or even a reason as to why we do certain things and we dont others. Those girls who feel they have daddy issues and you want to dump them on dude, those guys who cant just settle because they feel its cool not to. Grow some, you have a mind of your own, falling for the basic stereotype simply means you still have a long way to go.
7. Relax the pressure. Do NOT make promises that you cant keep. While here, I came across this ‘break-up’ song by Mac Miller-Missed Calls, and it reminded me of past relationships…however much I might have been hurt, or if I did the hurting, I dont regret the decisions, I live with them and cherish those experiences bad or good. I am happy. Some, I have told the greatest stories out of them.
8. My cousin once told me to ‘teach’ her what I wanted. Well, I felt, you just dont teach someone to be a certain way you want them to be. I think relationships shouldn’t be about shared interests but rather the uniqueness we bring to them. We are different, someone should appreciate your uniqueness and difference, if they dont, well, move on and find one.
9. Should there be a manual for how people date or shouldn’t date? Should you want to write one and dispel it as an ideology and manual…some sort of manifesto? No, I dont agree. So ladies, dont ask dudes what day so and so is this and what it means to be in a relationship, dudes, dont go telling ladies that you have to do this and this…respect, love, learn and grow. No five year master plans until you are married.
This is not a manual, this is no advocacy, these are just thoughts.
I feel relationships are about difference, mutuality, excitement, cherishing one another, looking at the complexities that lie ahead and holding to each other, far or near, and telling that one person, at the end of my journey, you are the one I want to be with.
Ah, relationships, we hate them when hurt, love them when happy…Keep walking.