“I need a girlfriend”, he posted.
I was shocked. The last time I had a conversation with him, he was going on about how he had slept with some young girl and it was the best he had hard. He went on to tally how many times they had done it in the past week. Bragging while at it. It reminded me a lot of my mentor, though for him, he never bragged much about it, but he did like keeping a figure when I last checked it revolved around 190 something.
There’s two types of emotion, the Physical and the Metaphysical.
But before I delve into thine philosophy, lets go back to the beginning, the statement that brought about this conversation.
When I was in my first year, a few years ago, I thought I had found love in a hopeless or rather hopeful place. She was the one I am going to marry, I bragged, telling my mentor and yet 4 months down the road, not only had my marriage plans dwindled, I was filled with a hate like never before. I felt I had been used, I felt wasted and at that point, to me, relationships were about the physical. Did she have the right ‘physical’ features? Did she look the part? Was she the one I would show off to my friends?
And there I was listening to this second year lad going on about how they were looking for a girlfriend! I asked him, are you ready for a relationship? And he was quick to jump to a yes. This showed his lack of understanding as to what I was asking about? I asked again, what about the relationship was he looking for? The physical or the metaphysical? And that’s is when it occurred to him.
Men are mostly drawn to the physical emotion, the lust, the hunger, the depravity, the sex and if you are not giving him these, you basically dont love him. Women, at times believe that this is also some form of love, but again, these are the ones shackled by a relationship based on more than sex but the actual frivolities of life, money, power and a car.
Women, seek a more metaphysical kind of emotion, one felt, one understood and misunderstood. Women seek love in a relationships. Its always about the little things, that one message, call, éclair she got from her loved one.
So,my argument with him was whether he understood what he need. Did he need the physical, or did he need the metaphysical. And the argument continued and I tried to explain to him these concepts and where and when they apply.
Men mostly seek the metaphysical when they are done and tired of the physical. When they stop looking at the lady as an object, that can be quantified, and start to seek the qualitative aspect and search for what a lady brings to them other than just the sex. It normally occurs when a “man” feels they have grown up. As when to men grow up, I dont really know but when they do, that’s when they seek this.
Women are more drawn to the metaphysical, and continuously lie in this loop. A lady will always look for the qualitative first before the quantitative. Yes, if you are the tall, dark and handsome type, you will have them drooling at your feet, but if you fail to meet these qualitative aspects, you will just be another person she met and dated.
I believe I have come to the metaphysical point in my life. I need quality. I need a lady who can hold her own, and my one too. I need a lady who can remind me of my life’s purpose, and hers too. I need a lady can take me as I am, without the need to change a lot. I need a lady, beautiful, both in and out, to me, and only me. I need a lady, not a girlfriend.
The physical is just but fiction. It what makes us sleep and night. The metaphysical is indeed fiction, but one we both feel, the one that makes me get up every morning with the need to soar. Go choose which one you want, but lets not get these things confused, and lets not misunderstand these two concepts. Mutually exclusive, dualism at its best.
Well, those are my words. What are your words.
No dropping mics today. *Drops Mic*