No, this is not a two for one. . .
It’s half of one. . .
And no, this is not brought to you by Nandos, Mr. Tasty or Garden City Cineplex, this is brought to you by Mama Nulu.
Mama Nulu wishes you well and hopes you can soon visit her breakfast with katogo restaurant soon, again, under the big Orange sign post in Wandegeya. She’s also camera shy, so no photos.
On your playlist right now ‘Watch out for this Bumaye – Major Lazer, Busy Signal & The Flexican’ should be playing, why, because I said so. Google is your friend though. Besides, that’s the soundtrack to this blog.
So I was whining about bad bloggers last week, or rather, things good bloggers need to do, well, here’s some things people need to learn about social media websites a.k.a facebook & twitter!
1. We don’t care. Your sorrow, joy, daddy issues, mummy issues, mental health issues, relationship issues are YOUR damn issues. We like to muse, maybe relate a little but we bloody don’t care.
2. We care about the way you present us your issues. If your issues are real but presented in a fun, relatable and in ‘I don’t give a crap’ kinda way, then yes, we shall read and care about them, from somewhere behind a computer or gadget screen.
3. Know when to be emotional. It’s human I know but social media doesn’t care about humans. There’s a reason they are called TROLLS! They are trolls on there. We eat anything human. As soon as we detect your human side, the trolls come out hunting. So, know when to be emotional, in fact, be devoid of emotions. We don’t really care, remember.
4. Have fun. If you take life serious on social media sites, well, you are in for a big damn surprise. Social media sites is where constipated thoughts go to ease themselves, so, when you take shit serious, you are in for a stink.
5.Take nothing personal, give nothing personal. A story run in the New Vision (Uganda’s apparent leading daily newspaper) of how girls were raped on facebook, or rather, the culprits and the victim met off facebook. Try as much as bloody possible to keep your personal shit off these sites. You’ll thank me later.
6. I don’t care about you, the reader. Chances are, you already know this and have skipped to the sixth point, wondering, what next, well
Yeah, just like that. A Half Price Tuesday Blog. . .