Today

Today, I listened to my new favourite song over and over again. It put me in a mood I still can’t describe. I feel like a coke junkie who’s just sniffed a line. For some reason, I still can’t get over Beasts of No Nation. It keeps playing over and over again in my head as I try to relate with Agu (Abraham Attah). 

 This past month has been ephemeral. As my dream and desires and lack of accomplishments dawn on me, I am looking into myself to seek inspiration, passion and the greatness my parents once spoke of. Then again, I have to admit, life has had its way with me. I keep thinking to myself, I haven’t changed much, that tomorrow is going to be a better day, but I worry that the day will end, and I will be none the wiser.

I tried reading the book that I spent several hours downloading off of the internet, and failed. I shelved it in the to read folder up to when I have completely nothing to do. But I’ve recently felt that I have nothing completely to do, shouldn’t I at least read?

I learnt a new word that I once knew. Interesting how a word sounds familiar and yet its meaning is so distant.

I tried to understand my parents. They have been resilient about me getting a full time job. That this self employment I am indulging myself in won’t take me far. I mean, I spent my last savings on someone hoping I would get the deal. It’s been a week now, and I can barely get myself out of the house, because I am waiting for the call. Well, I am officially the CEO of the brokest design and construction company.

Is five years of architecture really worth it? I always ask myself this question when I see friends happily starting their marriages and some fathers. They seem happy, right? Oh well, I need to look for the next deal, I need to look for work.

Do you feel stagnated? I don’t know. It’s just that this muddy mental puddle of water seems to inhibit my movement. 

I like to write. I like to read what I write hoping I am as inspired as you are to read what I write. There’s amazing writers out there; Strive Masiyiwa is amongst them, and I hope to one day be as rich and still be a good of a writer as he is. 

How is your today?

Beasts of No Nation

“FIRE!”

The child soldiers cheer on after the rocket launcher.

“See that. That is magic. Hunh. We are going to take that bridge. We are going to take that bridge. Hunh! Formation! That bridge we are taking it.”

“YES SIR!”

“Better look me in the eyes mada fucker. Who wants to fight? Unha! I am only taking de brave. I am not taking the scary. I am not taking no girls. Are you ready to fight?”

“YES SIR!”

“ARE YOU READY TO FIGHT?”

“YES SIR!”

“You want to take that bridge?”

“YES SIR!”

“We are gonna take that fuckin bridge!”

“YES SIR!”

“Ibenda ke!”

“Tagalakyuma yo!”

“Ibenda ke?”

“Tagalakyuma yo!”

HAVE YOU WATCHED BEASTS OF NO NATION? Have you? Or have you read the book with also the same title? Or have you listened to the album by Fela Kuti also with the same title? The book which gets its title from the music album by Fela Kuti now has a movie adaption that for once in my life, I counted the 2 hours and 10 minutes of mind boggleness that is this story. Last evening, at around 10:00pm when I got home, I decided to watch the movie. A friend of mine had earlier told me how himself and a couple of others decided to sit and watch it, and for the same amount of time, they couldn’t believe what they’d just watched. I don’t know what exactly inspired the author but this is one deep story talking about the plight of child soldiers in Africa and around the world. 

This excerpt is from one of my favourite scenes in the movie. I have watched this scene over and over again and can’t seem to get it out of my head. The actors are brilliant and Idris Elba does a magnificent job in this movie.

This movie brought out what I am most afraid of…the pulpable excitement I get when I watch or come across something very inspiring. I felt that I could write a 20,000 word masters thesis after watching this movie. As soon as I was done, I was on the internet doing background research on the actors, the directors, the scoring, the Internet ratings, the YouTube reviews, the everything and anything about this movie. The director’s take on the story…and before I forget, Abraham Attah’s magnificent role. Dude totally killed it. 

I literally played the soundtrack on my player the whole day today and as I write this, I am watching this very scene. If you haven’t watched it, WATCH IT. Or read it. Read the book. In one of the interviews, the director and author share their perspectives and one thing’s for sure, the darkness in the book is not fully brought out in the movie. They dumbed it down to allow for ease of view for the audiences around the world. They even talked about the gay scene not included in the movie. Why? Around the time of the final editing, Uganda’s debate on the LGBT community was on going and they didn’t want to exacerbate the situation.

It is a touching story. I feel like I don’t do it justice but maybe encouraging you to read the book or watch the movie is the best I can do. Truth is, this is among the best, if not the BEST movie I’ve watched In a while. There’s very few movies that make you want to cry, and this I do say made me shed a tear. I felt this story told a side to a tale very few can relate with. I felt too that I was a child soldier going through the emotions. I felt that Agu reminded me of a place I never wanted to be but I wished I too could experience what he experienced.

Am I writing too much?

This movie has moments. Moments where you stop and pause the movie, kneel down and say a prayer. Moments where you think back to 15 or so years ago when the LRA abducted countless children in Northern Uganda and used them as soldiers. Moments where you pause and smile. Pause and cry. Pause and rewind. Pause and gasp. Pause and dance. Moments where you fire your imaginary pistol finger guns. Moments where you chant, and scream.

I honestly don’t want to stop writing but let me do for now. Let me rewind and watch the commandant Idris Elba psyche the child soldiers. 

Interesting fact. The story was picked up in 2006, shot in Ghana in 2013 and released just a month ago. This movie is like a fine bottle of wine.

Perfection

When people see a smile on your face, see you all well dressed, see you do things for yourself, they think your life is perfect. But little do they know about your inner struggle to achieve perfection. Everyone I know has that inner burning desire and fire to be the best of what they believe they should be or who they think they should be, and seldom times we forget that it’s human to seek this. I am not perfect. I seek perfection. I sometimes, in fact most times believe that the best years are behind us because when we look at the glorious past where we have struggled, we see scars on a soul we’ve tried to perfect.

I am not perfect. I seek perfection. In my work, I see myself as a student and not a master, for if I don’t, then I will stop learning. Why be a master of one when you can be a jack of all trades? Is that not what society expects of us? I sometimes question why they call Albert Einstein a genius. Then I remember, he perfected that one art that made him mad genius. What is my one art? What is your one art?

I write this because I want to remember this as starting point, for I will call tomorrow and the next day my starting points too, for as long as we seek perfection, and have not yet achieved it, everyday is a beginning point. So stop trying to be perfect or seeking perfection. Jump on a boda boda because you can’t afford fuel or a car. Stay home till you mark up that rent money. Or build a house if you are tired of renting. All I am saying is, everyday is a start to rather a series of imperfect perfections. 

Happy Sunday. 

Movember Musingss

These are my Movember musings…

1. God first

2. Family second. Sometimes friends can be family, and family can be unfriendly.

3. No new friends? Make friends. Network. If you are trying to make it out there viz you are a CEO of a certain small company, networking can be helpful. I know so.

4. Learning about contracts is important. Business involves contracts and making one is very important and critical. Negotiating is also key. Well, I’ve come to learn this. Also, learning to stick to a contract is key, for it allows you to renegotiate but shows integrity and courage too. I’ve learnt that the hard way.

5. Is your plan on paper? Is whatever it is you want to do written down somewhere? Well, just write it down if you have an idea of what you want to do or execute. It’s important and imperative you have things written down. There’s genius in that.

6. Count on the small victories.

7. Plan trips with friends.

8. No one really Ever has your back, so look after yourself. 

9. The year has almost ended sadly and I have still not met my financial goals.

10. I am still hopeful though. 

11. Unfortunately, I am not blessed with facial hair. The advantage is I will still somewhat look younger in my finer days. But yes, it’s important to cater to your health and watch for those around you.