Today, I listened to my new favourite song over and over again. It put me in a mood I still can’t describe. I feel like a coke junkie who’s just sniffed a line. For some reason, I still can’t get over Beasts of No Nation. It keeps playing over and over again in my head as I try to relate with Agu (Abraham Attah).
This past month has been ephemeral. As my dream and desires and lack of accomplishments dawn on me, I am looking into myself to seek inspiration, passion and the greatness my parents once spoke of. Then again, I have to admit, life has had its way with me. I keep thinking to myself, I haven’t changed much, that tomorrow is going to be a better day, but I worry that the day will end, and I will be none the wiser.
I tried reading the book that I spent several hours downloading off of the internet, and failed. I shelved it in the to read folder up to when I have completely nothing to do. But I’ve recently felt that I have nothing completely to do, shouldn’t I at least read?
I learnt a new word that I once knew. Interesting how a word sounds familiar and yet its meaning is so distant.
I tried to understand my parents. They have been resilient about me getting a full time job. That this self employment I am indulging myself in won’t take me far. I mean, I spent my last savings on someone hoping I would get the deal. It’s been a week now, and I can barely get myself out of the house, because I am waiting for the call. Well, I am officially the CEO of the brokest design and construction company.
Is five years of architecture really worth it? I always ask myself this question when I see friends happily starting their marriages and some fathers. They seem happy, right? Oh well, I need to look for the next deal, I need to look for work.
Do you feel stagnated? I don’t know. It’s just that this muddy mental puddle of water seems to inhibit my movement.
I like to write. I like to read what I write hoping I am as inspired as you are to read what I write. There’s amazing writers out there; Strive Masiyiwa is amongst them, and I hope to one day be as rich and still be a good of a writer as he is.
How is your today?