In a rather bizarre series of events, I’ve never actually celebrated Valentine’s with anyone! Yesterday -it was only but yesterday -while people wore their best red dresses and suits and carried around flowers, I was at home mulling, wondering whether I should sleep early or just wait up for the All Star game, and the Mamba’s last game. Things have just never worked out for me on this day, and maybe that’s why I despise it. While people eat chocolate and look into each other’s eyes, I laze around on a couch wondering who will win the game tonight.
In a rather complex set and bizarre situation, I find my self cold, deep inside where the feels are said to come from. Relationships are a gamble to many, while to me, it’s a series of equations that I feel should benefit me, and when they don’t, I blast open the bank vaults and run like the wind, tail tacked trying to wash away the love shared and bared.
In a rather confusing manner, I am happiest when people are happiest. I’d rather downplay my happiness just to see other people happy.But the reason I write this is because I want to share my sentiments on what love is, what it should be! – hey don’t judge!
- Don’t quantify it. You either give it or don’t, there’s no 50 50, or 60 40 or 100%. You just do it, like Nike.
- Sometimes you can be too busy to be with a loved one. I am perplexed at the notion that you must be there for a loved one, all the time. This is life, the variables themselves don’t support this notion. But true, love involves sacrifice, be it personal, emotional or physical.
- Do you actually deserve what you get? I am torn when people say they deserve to get (better) things because of what they’ve done or what they didn’t do. You definitely deserve the best, in love, but it is not necessarily the last or the only one thing.
- Love is not and should not be reciprocal. The moment it takes that side, it becomes a game of quantity. I did this or you did that is not the language of love.
- The lady’s feelings and expectations are valid. As a gentleman, you either choose to or not to. Don’t waste each other’s time!
- If someone wants to be with you, uhm…for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Newton’s third law on love.
- It’s imperative that you respect your partner, and their boundaries. Also don’t be the douche whose boundaries upset your partner and still talk about having boundaries.
- Go with the flow. Always go with the flow. There’s an African proverb about the river that goes with the flow. Trust me, I read it somewhere.
Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship.
- Picked that (9) from somewhere. I think this was some kind of rebuttal, or a failed attempt at it. Again, love it love, just do it.
These are just mere sentiments. Some don’t even apply because fact is, Love is just that, Love. It has meaning, it has no meaning. It has importance, it has no importance. It’s a like a catch 22, a double edged sword and when you play around with it, you get burned.
So, Happy Valentine’s anyone?
Today while people celebrate love, I celebrate love too. Let’s forget about the tragedy that happened to St. Valentine. Let’s cue in Cupid and his arrows. Today, let’s remember what we’ve been trying hard to do for the other 360 days or so. Let’s spend the same amount we would have spent on a partner, but let’s not forget to wear red. Let’s give ourselves reason to see a dentist tomorrow. I am told Cupid loves chocolate and that’s why Valentine’s is about it too. Let’s renew our vows to do what we did yesterday and will do tomorrow. Let’s make promises. Today is Valentine’s day, today is also singles awareness day. Have a lovely Valentine’s.
We all know most complex English words have their origins based in latin. I am not going to expound on that.
In my second year at Architecture school, back, back in the day, we were given an assignment in our Graphics class. It was very simple, define and present ‘Perception‘! In a class of about 30, we all had to present our ideas on what we thought perception was.
I don’t remember exactly what I did, I’d have to dig up archives and heaps of paper to come across my presentation chat. That’s besides the point. Over and over again, we’ve been trained to perceive, analyse and deduce (Sherlock-esque) and this has given me a somewhat heightened sense of my environment and the people around me.
Now to the actual point. People are a complex set of perceptive notions and ideas which are due to preconceived experiences of what their environments are. Environments greatly stimulate how we perceive the world too(day) and these are not restricted to just natural environments. They can be emotional, spiritual, physical, financial to mention but a few. These environments over time affect what become our daily habits and later on norms. The challenge though is that when it comes to people, there’s always a complexity brought about by their ability to think, rationalize, deduce on whether what they are perceiving at that particular moment is right or wrong.
Fun fact, our environments have common law, codes of conduct, and the human system also has a reset button on what we decide to perceive and how we react to what we perceive.
*Apologies for my rumblings
The thing is, we chose to perceive and see things any way we want but the fact is, we can’t control what we decide to perceive as it. And above all else, perception is and can’t not control what is that natural law or the state of being. Humans have devised names and come up with all sorts of concepts but here is what I am trying to say; you can’t fully control what you perceive and you can’t perceive what you can’t fully control.
There’s not absolute right or wrong. Neither is their a middle ground.
Your right and my wrong can be the same. It’s just perception.
I am sorry I had to put you through all this. This is just a note to my future self.
It took me forever to figure out that February has two ‘r’s. That and the fact that it’s the shortest month in a year. Finally January is done and with it hopefully the beginning of the year. This week in particular has been a lot tougher for me in a life changing kind of way. I am still trying to figure it out, to make sense of it.
First of all, working for yourself has its limitations. I find myself beyond exhausted and this week with its sickness has really done me in, and yet, I still have to work. I have forced myself to work this week I am adding myself vacation days. That’s the catch.
January was good to me, but here are my February musings.
1. Nothing in this life can or should stop you from being you. I am tired of people blaming the world like it owes you a damn thing. As long as you breath, duc in altum.
2. Busy is good. I barely make it as my own boss but one thing I’ve come to appreciate is that busy is good. Having something to do that might not necessarily be as rewarding is good because it keeps your mind functioning. And it’s important to have a functioning mind at all times.
3. Always watch the way you perceive yourself. People always look at themselves in a different light, one that’s is shining and most times blinding to themselves. How we perceive ourselves is most times correlated to how we want the world to perceive us, but fact is, it is never really us. It’s always what we are most afraid off, what we don’t want the world to know.
4. I thought I’d have two musings to correlate with the month but here’s to my little sister who’s no longer a teenager. Again, they grow up fast. Happy birthday Chloe. Fun fact, when she was in school, her teacher couldn’t pronounce her name and thus her other name Susan came to be. Unfortunately, it always catches us off guard.
Jem had the courtesy of nominating me. I couldn’t resist.
The next part is copy pasted seeing as, yeah, it has too be.
So Jem was nominated by Simon, who was nominated by Joel, who was nominated by Sinawo, whose blog I have also just discovered and I have not yet started following and I hope that I will totally love
already!!! 🙂 it some day.
The rules of the exercise are;
- Thank the person that nominated you and include a link to their blog.
- Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice. When considering a fellow blogger for the Versatile Blogger Award, keep in mind the quality of their writing, the uniqueness of their subject matter and the level of love displayed on the virtual page.
- Link your nominees and let them know about their nomination.
- Share seven facts about yourself
Thanks Jem for the nomination and I give to you this emoji :-P!
Unfortunately, I don’t have a list of fifteen bloggers nor do I know their handles because sometimes I just randomly come across them but will start with a few of my favourite.
- Uncle Bazanye. We all know it’s a bad idea not to read any of his writings/musings.
- Before Peter Kakoma, there was Sleek and Wild and his Monday Massacres.
- There was Buttercookie. There’s now only restricted access.
- There were the Two Weak Dudes. Don’t even know what happened to their blog.
- I once came across this blog, don’t know who they were but I instantly followed. Here.
- There was Streetsider, Enrique, Ivan’s blogs that I have now failed to trace.
- I read a lot of thought catalogs…they are some of the weirdest but inspiring collections.
- She’s also amazing. Know her as Mudamali, or that’s what her blog is titled.
- There’s the entire Urban Legend Kampala (ULK) where most of the above mentioned bloggers migrated to. There you will find Erique, Ivan, Streetsider, Uncle Baz and many more.
- So before this, there was this.
- I will give 11 to Jem because we all know what her favourite number is.
- I am just going to list a random number of blogs/bloggers I used to read. I don’t know most of them. Just click on the links. https://flygirlchronicles.wordpress.com/, (some links don’t work. Blogs expired/terminated)
- There’s Edward. Great person. Greatest Photographer.
Uhhmmmm…most of the blogs I want to share are old and outdated. Some have even shut down.
7 “facts”/things about me? I wouldn’t call them facts.
- I sometimes don’t know or understand the music on my playlist. Big fan of mellow sounds.
- I love reading manga.
- I like to write. Been at it since 2001. I need to collect a manuscript of what my earlier thoughts in school were.
- I love to design.
- I love keeping it simple. Life too.
- If it’s too complicated, I’ll see myself out.
- I only swim in the shallow end of the pool. Or is it waddle? What’s that thing cats do when they are thrown into water?
That’s it. Cool. Peace