Perspective

As you go to bed tonight, say a prayer, for yourself and for that prostitute who has to start work this evening to make ends meet tomorrow.

There’s moments of clarity in life especially after there’s a sudden loss in your life, and that for me has been the sudden passing of my friend Julie. For as long as I met and had known Julie, I’d never met such a kindred and kind spirit. That night for me will forever be seared in my mind for I said bye to her at 11:00am, and got a call at midnight, an hour later saying that Julie was unconscious and in hospital. I’ve never driven as madly to the hospital as I did that night, and as I did, I said a prayer and kept on calling for divine intervention but my body kept on getting chills.

I was at the hospital in under 15 minutes, rushing and looking for where she was. I ran through corridors and down stairs asking everyone where Julie was before I was directed to a room with two friends waiting. As I looked around, a doctor walked in wherein I asked how my friend was doing. Doctor turned to me and said,

“Julie is dead!”

But? The person I had called only 15 minutes, a strange voice I had never heard had told me to rush to hospital because Julie was unconscious and she needed family right now. What did the doctor mean by that? The doctor went on to ask me to go into the room and see her, which I couldn’t. This was not happening! This was not true. What do you mean she had been involved in a boda boda accident?  And why wasn’t she conscious?

I stared at the hospital walls not believing what I had just heard. I looked around with confusion. This was not happening.

And I still can’t believe that we are here without you. The promises we had made to each other, and the great things we were going to achieve. I am sad, I hurt, but I know you are well and happy. That’s what you have always been.

So, I’ve decided to be of help to anyone who comes to me and I can offer them as much.

I drive by the Nakasero streets every other evening of the night and see young girls stand there in the cold, looking for a penny. I don’t know of their reasons why they are there, they could be a thousand, but I’ve decided to say a prayer, if I can not tangibly help. I’ve decided to pray for those in need and help those I can. This does not absolve me from anything or doesn’t change much to the people, but I want to come to the greatness you had my dear friend and sister. Rest well.

Resonance

Random May thoughts….

We all give off an energy at a particular point in life and as such this energy reverberates with the things around us, and that’s why happy people will attract happy people, sad people, will vibe with the sad, and if you look closely, you usually associate with particular people because you are giving off a certain energy they are resonating with. This also applies in our work, school, home and eventually the people we relate with. Have you ever asked yourself why you dated someone at a particular point in your life? Ever wondered what your resonance was at that point? Resonance negates the need for there to a be a one but rather ones. 

It is easy to relate with someone because of their vibe, and sometimes this is what creates the attraction. Resonance fills particular quotas, personal quotas and in my thoughts, they are; physical, emotional/mental, spiritual, financial and family. The ultimate quota is the metaphysical quota and this combines all the above.

Here’s an example, in my very first relationship, I just wanted to date. I didn’t care for what dating meant, I wanted to date someone and this was brought on by the physical and emotional quotas. These are what drove my very first relationship, but as I grew up, there was a need for more and thus kicked in the mental quota. What defined relationships for me at a younger age were physical, emotional and mental and this was for most of my college school life. When I started to work, and started to earn, the financial quota gradually kicked in. A relationship for me needed the physical, emotional, mental and financial quotas. A new dynamic was introduced, the dating game had changed. It wasn’t a dorm room anymore but a lunch date here, a night out there.

As a I grew older, and the financial quota was sated, I looked for the final quota which is family, and this one usually comes with spirituality. When your mind fills every other quota and you feel everything has been sated, then you start to look for a life partner. That one person you are willing to spend your life with. Your resonance starts to search for someone with similarities, you carefully scrutinize their family, their religion, state of belief, and whether they match with yours. 

Resonance is two heart beats flowing rhythmically, and most times, you might be at different levels (age) but like in physics when you resonate the first fork, and take time to resonate a similar fork, they eventually chime at the same pitch. What is your resonance? 

Losing Julie

Losing Julie

Rest Well Muffn.

ayampatra

On the evening of 11th June 2016, wrapped in warm clothing, damp handkerchiefs in hand, the twins, their sisters, Joanne, Maghi, Hellen and I sat close together in a church to pray for a friend.

A few meters away, her mother; held and surrounded by relatives, who if they could, would reach and touch where it hurt and make it stop . Hers was a pain like an itch you couldn’t reach. I don’t know, I could be describing mine or many of ours. I can’t quite explain hers because I imagined it on my own mother and I couldn’t bear it.

Prim and Sheila were away. The other, Julie -lay in a box, white and gold, at the altar of the church.

We were not here to pray for safe travels or healing or success. We had come to pray for her soul, that God may have mercy on…

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We Rise

Tired of blaming all your problems on the world?

I just lost someone dear to me, and as I try to process it, it still fails to make sense to me. I said goodbye and didn’t know that was the last time I’d see your smile or even hear your voice. It’s amazing at how passive we are about the eventuality of life, till it comes knocking down on your door.

We had made plans, for tomorrow, for greatness and even though unfulfilled, it was great knowing what you meant to me and to those around you, and as we said bye to you, I know that this moment most bitter, we shall rise. We always rise.

Rest well Julie. Rest easy. 10/06/2016