Forgiving

If I had a bullet for everyone that hurt me then well, there would be many ghosts haunting me.

The hardest thing to do is to forgive. And I am pretty sure it’s not the actual forgiving that’s hard, it’s letting go of the reason as to why you shouldn’t forgive them in the first place that is the hardest. I’ve been on this three months spiritual trek and it’s been amazing, difficult and amazing. And prior to this last week’s preaching, a name kept on popping/playing at the back of my mind. It just wouldn’t stop nagging me whenever I had a moment to myself.

For the whole week prior to Sunday, I kept on wondering why the name was on mind.

So, on Sunday, after preaching, one of the key points was to forgive as a form of love. The truth is that God is Love, and so if He can love us, and forgive us, and we are created in His image, then why shouldn’t we forgive as well. And when we forgive, make sure that we have forgiven.

Among the few things that have transformed in my life since this journey began is to let go, and Let God. There was pain I was holding on to, a pain that kept on strangling the spirit, a pain that had a soul tie, a pain that I had unconsciously held onto. So when that name popped up, surprise surprise. I blamed this person for causing this pain…we humans can be feeble sometimes, share the blame or just throw it on someone, and this pain always brought about an anger that I didn’t like at all.

Back to Sunday…

So our assignment was simple, forgive that person you believed has caused you pain. And honestly forgive them. Don’t do it for them, do it for yourself. Do it for your soul. And also love or share a form of love with three random people. And thus, after church was done, I sat down, meditated for a little bit and then wrote an email, apologizing first and asking for forgiveness and forgiving as well.

No, it doesn’t just randomly go away but I know I was at peace. I had forgiven, and there was no backsies. And I felt lighter, happier. I sometimes sit and muse at how sometimes the hardest things to do give the greatest rewards. And so, I choose to forgive. And love. Never the easiest things to do but I believe they are the most rewarding.

Anywho, my acts of love;

Thanks for reading this blog. Thanks to those that share, like and comment. I sometimes are reclusive but I appreciate every click. Love you guys 😊

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Pain

*Disclaimer; I was writing when my pad auto updated, so I lost my first draft and train of thought. Anyway, here goes.

Pain, is that indescribable feeling when you hit your little toe against the surface as you walk around in the dark night trying to figure out where the light switch is on the wall.

Pain, is that indescribable feeling when you lose someone, when they go to see the One.

Pain, is that indescribable feeling you get when you give your whole, and someone breaks open glass in case of emergency, at your own expense.

Pain, is that indescribable feeling you have when you are stuck in traffic and are late to that very important business meeting.

Pain is just that indescribable feeling.

I have been a victim of pain. Pain creates negative emotions, hate, anger, desperacy, and more.

And I recently felt pain. Pain that the people I once committed too were happier,  seemingly unbothered by the anger, hate I felt inside of me. And then I realized that I was holding onto this pain. I couldn’t grow because I held onto this pain. And I needed to be done with this.

Allowing myself to feel this pain helped me rethink, re-evaluate, remodel, revitalize, be reborn. Allowing myself to wallow in this pain didn’t allow for growth. It only created soul ties to a past I never wanted to relive, and I need to let go of this pain. By birthing myself in this pain, I allowed myself to grow. It allowed me to reset myself and purify that which I hold dearest too. Letting go allowed for me to take on new challenges, renew my relationships and friendships.

Pain is essential to growth. It allows us to stop. Holding onto that pain slows the process of healing, and we all know what happens when wounds are not allowed to heal, there’s no scar. So, feel the pain. The indescribable feeling of freedom when the chains finally get untangled is refreshing.