Again, church was amazing this Sunday. Who knew I’d get all the catharsis I need from Sunday church? Well, God knew but hey, I was big headed enough to believe otherwise. They started this new preaching about “open secrets to a successful marriage!” Well, you can imagine I was all ears. [ Well, apply these open secrets to life in general]
First things first, just LOVE. Like God’s kinda love but we all know we can barely emulate even a morsel of that! So, try to love without holding back, not for them, but for yourself. And well, you can only love others if you love God, and through Him can you freely love one another. Does this make sense? Well, just love because God loves you.
Back to the main point here.
The first secret was : EXPECTATIONS!
*Drum roll please* DUM DUM DUMMMMMM!
When we start to expect, and when we heap expectations on others, we naturally set ourselves up for failure. You are just allowing for the other person to disappoint you. If you think about it, it’s natural to expect for things especially from a loved one or your partner. It’s impossible not to. I had a taste of my own medicine this morning when I didn’t get a message from my best friend and partner in crime, and I worried because I expected to get one, and when I called, they were actually too busy to get in touch. It is eccentric to not expect, for many will call you crazy but when you start NOT to expect, life starts to open doors. It sets you free from all the things you’d expect and allows you to view yourself and life in a more enthralling way.
Expectations are the number one cause of issues in relationships. When you put relationships under a micro scope, most arguments, fights and disagreements stem from expectation(s). She was supposed to do this? He was expected to have done this? Why did you forget to do this? Most times when we expect, it’s not that we can’t do these things ourselves, we are either preoccupied or just just want someone to do it.
So, the first secret in a relationship and in life generally is to not expect, or rather manage your expectations. Don’t self inflict pain on yourself trying to expect things that will not be done, given or achieved when you can; firstly, do them yourself. Secondly, you can still do them yourself. I’ve heard people ask and pray about change, the power to change and if they can’t, accept that change.
Setting yourself free from expectations and allowing things to be will allow you to be free to love!
So, will you stop expecting or….