Evolve-d

Hurt People Hurt People! – Confucius 

What is love? The answer is in 1 Corinthians 13: –

Read the whole chapter and maybe we can start to delve deeper.

And NO, I don’t think Confucius coined the term, ‘Hurt People, Hurt People’ but rather it’s the meaning behind this adage, paradigm that I’d like to share my thoughts on.

You know how a rotten tomato spoils the other tomatoes in the basket full of fresh juicy tomatoes? That’s what happens when hurt people decide to date without first cleansing and renewing themselves. It’s important that before you start a new relationship, the shackles that hold you to your past are broken, and you are free to freely love someone.

I had and wanted to quote that bible verse specifically to broaden your horizons on what exactly love is. We many times misuse the world love. Some of my favourite ones are when people use and say things like – I am falling/fell out of love? I stopped loving because? I have little love left because? for a friend, partner and confidant. It simply means that you didn’t understand what love was in the first place. Love nurtures and grows. Love makes you see the good side of people, and accept the flaws AND try to work on those flaws. It’s essential that when two people come together, they purpose their selves in learning and growing in love. Love is work. Not just a random feel of fwaaa fwaaa

And in truth it starts by understanding that your past does not define your future. Your past is your past. We should stop looking to the past to live in the future. I mean, Obama once said, how can you move forward if you are looking back? Many relationships these days focus on the past they fail -continuously to live in/for the future, and before you know it, you are back to the past with someone new.

Look at it this way. If person X hurt you, forgive – which is difficult and you can refer to previous posts, and move on. Learn from it and grow. When you meet person Y, person X shouldn’t be in the picture, in whatever way, past, present or future. Many times though, we get hurt by person X, move on to person Y still angry at person X, compare Y to X when they falter, pick the stupid lessons from X and apply them to your new Y and before you know it, Y has become X, and now Z is coming into the picture. And then X, Y, Z! I honestly hope you understand this analogy.

Eventually, the cycle continues, and now Y becomes X to another person and damn it, just stop it people. Why are we so hell bent on our past?

I know it hurts. I know you gave it your all. I know things probably didn’t work out. I know you probably messed up. I know you now have insecurities. I know that maybe what you believed was love was not what it turned out to be. Turn your life to Christ. 

I now know that everyone deserves a clean slate, a chance to become better and grow, and a NEW you, not an old version. Look at it this way, software always needs an upgrade, a better version of itself. But software doesn’t discriminate on who and what and how it can be used (love). Software (You) works on itself so that the new user can enjoy themselves and experience it better. Software (You) doesn’t look back and determine that you cannot harness its full potential, no, it allows you to fully use it the best way you can in the now (present). And it won’t judge you. Be like software, fix your bugs, have a renewed and better experience with the you. Don’t judge new users based on the old, but rather better yourself (bug fixes) so that the new user can experience something wholesome and refreshing. The past is who you are, but shouldn’t define the mistakes you make in the future. DO NOT LIVE IN THE PAST!

Love grows. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not judge. We need to evolve. We need to stop blaming our past for the mistakes we shall make in the future. If you were hurt, grieve, cleanse, renew, begin – afresh. This time a better version of yourself – evolved, to allow your partner experience the whole you, and not just parts of you you deem clean or fit to be used. And for Christ’s sake, don’t take out your frustrations from the past into the future, that’s how hurt people end up hurting people.

PS: We can fall out of like with someone, but before we do it, remind yourself what exactly it was that got you to like them. Most times we shall choose the easy way out, the weak way out, and look at the faults and flaws of that someone but usually that’s a reflection of what/who we are. Only weak people choose to see the weakness in others.

Double PS: If someone chooses not to see your light, don’t deem that light. Find someone who will keep that light shining bright. Find your Sunshine, and maybe the darkness in you will be as bright as the Moonlight!

Stay awesome people. Let’s always choose love. It’s not the easiest way, but that’s why we are on this earth. To love, and to love.

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New Man

Something happens when you give your life to Christ.

And I mean giving the whole you, not just bits and pieces. The whole of you.

Me I’ve done that. Sometimes, I wake up wrestling with the idea that maybe I’ve not fully given in and then I am reminded of how amazing He is.

The phrase ‘learning and unlearning’ has garnered waves on the internet recently, and in a way it has got me thinking of the older me. I believe that we are here to fulfill God’s anointed purpose for us and maybe sometimes we are blinded by earthly truths, we feed the flesh and not the spirit and in turn soil the soul. It’s quite profound the things I’ve been trying to unlearn because of these earthly truths.

You don’t realize how broken you were until the light shines upon you. And then you start to see the cracks and fissures and dents all over your vase. Earthly truths are things not found in the book of life, opinions that we’ve gestated over time and these have become who we are. 

One of the greatest earthly truths I gestated was that I need to work for God’s approval. Another was that I could actually choose how I felt and what I did without Him. Another was that I could call on Him when I only needed Him. The biggest was that I could rely on Him in the low moments and forget about Him during the highs. And my personal favourite, that I could actually forgive and love without Him.

As amusing and benign as some of these thoughts are, to me, these are the earthly truths I am trying to unlearn. That I actually have to fight for a place by His side has already been nullified by His only begotten Son. That I need Him only when low is but amusing because in Him, there’s only highs. That I can call on Him anytime is but the best thing that happened to us such that I don’t just need to call Him during the tough times. What are tough times when you have Him?! And most of all, I am only but a vessel, and if He can forgive me, surely I can forgive anyone.

The hardest thing to do is forgive, and love unconditionally. It’s only when you understand that you are a vessel that promulgates  God’s love that you start to understand these two things. Like me, you and I are incapable of fully and honestly forgiving. God does, God has. 

I tried explaining to my mother the other day that it was not her responsibility to forgive her stepmother. That what she (stepmother) had done to them is humanly impossible to forgive. But, if she could just allow Christ to forgive through her (my mother), then she would find the peace she’s seeking. 

In Christ, the old man is dead, and the new man is born again, with salvation and eternal life.

In Christ, I am born again. In Christ, I am renewed. In Christ, who can stop me?! Surely!