Healed

I believe I have spoken (written ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ) about healing before on here. Today, I want to share about being healed.

To find and have Christ is to have life, and without him, death.

My healing and growth journey mostly begun when; I committed my life, purposefully set out to have Christ and continually renewed my mind with him every day. There’s so much joy and happiness in the Bible. In fact I call it my life hack.

Anyway, being healed means that you’ve purposefully set out to start a healing journey. And being healed in this case I am referring to emotional and spiritual healing.

I find that to date someone, and to commit to your relationship with them requires healing, and I am also going to infer to my relationship with my fiancรฉe.

So, you know how this is a small world? Like how you date someone and find out you know their ex-es and they know yours and some might have been and are your friends? Mehn, I know. Small world innit! Anyway, I do know a few of hers and she does know mine! And the reason they are ex-es is for one or many reasons, we were hurt (well, we are victims) and in my partner’s eyes they don’t come off as angels. I mean, we tend to hate our partner’s ex because they hurt the now most precious thing in our life. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve said positive things about some of my ex-es. And this baggage if not properly dealt with becomes a burden to the new relationship and MUST be dealt with.

And so the need to be healed. (I don’t think I come off as an angel in my ex-es and damn that paragraph was as long and Jesus ๐Ÿ’†๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ)

Anyway, healing is a process, and usually our partners are buffers and help us to cathart. Some pain needs for you to continuously reassure your partner, help them heal, listen to them and most of all, LOVE them. Love the pain away. Love the hate and dislike away. Love the inadequacy away. Love them into growth. Love them into their identity. Love them like God, our Father has taught us to love.

When I look at my partner, I don’t just see Proverbs 31, but I understand 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 where verse 8 says; Love Never Fails! I preempt Psalms 23:1-6. People talk about Ephesians 5:20 but I know from 20-28. And most of all, to get her I am reminded of Matthew 7:7-8. Like I said earlier, the Bible is my life hack.

Anyway, some few months ago, just sharing about our growth emotionally we finally realized that we are not shaped by our past. It can influence our present situation but that IS a CHOICE we make. We choose to either let it make us or break us, to define us or not. And just reflecting on the pain we once had, we realized that we were healed, and the resentment, pain and all the negative emotions didn’t matter. That what mattered most NOW was my partner.

Now that’s something, isn’t it. What is important when you get healed is not your past but your present, and that’s all.

And we talked about our future, our dreams, and desires.

It’s a journey! Please, these things are easier written than done. I wear my emotions on my sleeves, and mehn oh mehn, the pictures I’ve painted of my ex-es, aha (๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ต)! And as I embellish on here, I am glad I reached out and apologized. And relationships are not rational, guys. Like the royco, kanzali n’ebigenderako we add when we talk about the devil incarnate ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚! Like ask my fiancรฉe and see.

Anyway, I am just here to share. And in my sharing, I hope my experiences willhelp you heal!

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unBachelored

I’d thought of a wonky blog title but meh, I am in an awesome space.

Anyway, my days as a bachelor are numbered and I thought I’d demystify some crazy things and just share with you a few weird things – mostly false that most bachelors go through!

This post is sponsored by mothers union, sorry, Marriage Prep Course!

1. You can have all the sex in your own pad! Ngweeee! Really!? Abego? You can barely afford a comfortable meal every day and you are claiming you can have the sex! How? Maybe alone ๐Ÿ˜‚! I can honestly barely count the number of hours I spend at my place lest with people there! I mean, you work, hustle, go about trying to survive and so, the sex is probably the last thing on your mind! Honestly!

2. You have the best time of your life! I mean, every time someone finds out I live by myself, the first thing that comes to mind is that I am having the time of my life! Dude, I barely have what to eat a day! It’s a decision between paying for electricity, or water or having a meal! You need to have Mama Nasomething who does local food at 3k to show you a sign – pun intended, if you just want to eat. Of which food you sometimes get on credit hoping to pay at the end of the month when you hopefully get paid!

3. You have time to watch all the series! Guys! Guys! Guys! Honestly, what new series are showing? The last season of many interesting series I watched this year aired so many years ago. I sometimes get surprised when there’s a season 5 or 7 when I am just on 2. So, NO, we don’t have time to watch series and feed ourselves. Do you know how much food you need to watch a marathon of series. Guys, what series are trending right now?!

4. You can sleep any time you want! Well, duh, you can. But so can you back at your father’s house. In fact, if you are busy as the days get, you might just never lay in your bed. I for one spend half my nights on my computer trying to get some work done because other than having my own place, I have to worry about the 8 hours in my day that I try to actually work. And pshhh, do you know how many times you have to snooze the alarm? I’d rather my parents woke me up! Oh, that’s one of the reasons I left home!

5. You have no curfew! Looooooooool! Dude! We are not nocturnal guys. I sometimes think guys think we get back home at midnight every night! Do you know how much energy it takes to come back home at midnight everyday? Mehn, gerraahere mehn!

As I close this chapter, I won’t lie to you. I once thought that having my own place would have its quirks but there’s this word called RESPONSIBILITY which seems to dissolve as soon as you leave your parents’ home. It rears its head every time you wake up, and being by yourself, it’s twice as hard on you. I mean, who can you blame? Life doesn’t have time for you! And so you have to live!

I still love some of the delusions people have of being independent. It’s a good thing though because your parents stop baby sitting you at 18!

A Fatherโ€™s Words

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in a very long time.

The older we grow, the less time we have for our parents as we delve into our unique identities as new people. I mean, I now believe I am my own man and can decide for myself but today, I sought out my father’s advice.

My old man has always been a man of few ones, a man whose words are shown in his actions and so talking to him felt like a hard decision.

I decided to look him up on short notice, and on agreeing to see me, I rushed to where he was. I am joining a new institution, one as old as the entire human race and getting myself a wife. Yeah! And the truth is, until I decided to did it, I didn’t for one think it was as hard as I’ve come to realize.

There’s so much we take for granted when you are still dating that you are forced to learn and relearn when you take the next step: your identity, culture, religion and lifestyle all affect and influence your marriage. And those are lessons I am having now. It is rather exciting rediscovering some of these things.

Anyway, I finally get to my dad, sit him down and talk. And he spoke like the wise man he’s always been. I’ve always wondered why I was this smart and I can officially confirm that I got it from my papa!

A man of few words spoke words that pictures could not contain. And he gave and washed me with his wisdom and reaffirmed my beliefs. And I am sure glad I spoke with him because it felt like I was a child again, and all my problems were being solved by him.

I won’t go into whatever he said but I am sure glad I sought him out. I think the advantage we usually take for granted is the advice our parents give us. As we grow older, we usually find ourselves in positions where we are disagreeing with our parents simply because we now can make sense of the truth, we see it and have partly lived it! But, they’ve lived it longer.

We are a piece of them, and surely, it’s a good feeling being a child again, and not a grown up with responsibilities!

I am glad I can use the adage like father, like son.

Peace

30!

A happy birthday to me!

I dare say that this has been in the draft for about a week now, ruminating and marinating on how I should present this piece of me. I haven’t written in a while, and it has much to do with my state of mind.

I have been in this positive space, and looking back to my last so many years since I started writing, this has augmented my thought process a lot.

It’s a HUGE milestone reaching 30! My birthday was last week and I am thankful because now I understand the values of much of what I am doing.

I am starting marriage prep course!

Anyway, 30 THINGS you might know or might not know about me!

1. I am engaged! Yippie!

2. I am officially off soda! I am trying guys, just hear me out. But there’s going to be fewer Fantas this year going forward.

3. It’s only positive vibes man! Like fresh air on a sunny morning as the dew drys!

4. Prayer has brought me this far! My relationship with the Father has cemented my stand!

5. I am listening to blinded by your grace – Stormzy. Every time I listen to this song I find myself is an encouraged space.

6. I am teaching Design, landscape and interior design and that’s been a good thing.

7. By His Grace, we’ve been given a new lease on life.

8. I am old man!

9. Looking back at where the year started and where it’s going, I am thankful. Like wine, my mind is aging finely.

10. Honestly, I can’t write 30 things about me, because I renew and reinvent myself everyday.

But, there’s a lot to mull about. I am just grateful I am evolving; spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically and last intellectually. To continuously renew my mind, looking to my UP, reflecting on my IN, and discovering my OUT!

A happy belated birthday to me.

And also to all the April babies out there! Have a great one. May this be a start of great things.