I used to be an ‘I am!’ kinda person but over time I’ve learnt what having grace and forgiving oneself is. And I’ve applied it to my life to make myself better for myself, my partner and my family.
The one true perfect person in the entire world is Jesus Christ, and then maybe our parents, and they do fall short sometimes.
Growing up is realizing that our parents struggle too. They struggle to love, they are jealous, get angry too, and can also be broke sometimes. Growing up is realizing that our superhero parents are human too. That the drinking they do is just one of many other coping mechanisms.
I used to be an I am!
The one person who just refuses to do because they’ve either failed or have been hurt before. I used I am as an excuse to NOT be better than I should have been especially in relationships.
Do you ever hear the I am in your relationships too?
I am from this part of the country, we can’t do this. I am this and can’t do that! This even translates to specifics, I do or don’t this. Any time you have the prefix I in a statement made to your partner that involves reciprocation of any kind, chances are that you being selfish.
I’ve learnt to hear the voice behind the I am! And I’ve decided that I am NOT that person.
Who are you?
It’s 01:21 in the am. It’s been a while since I worked this late.
I am listening to Twice – Little Dragons. I love this song. The melody puts in me in a meditative space, where I am able to think outside of my own personal space. It puts me in a place other than mine where I try to resonate with what the world is sharing, what the world is speaking to me.
I remember watching the first season of Revenge and my mind was blown at how good the series was and could be. Unfortunately, I only watched the first season. But I remember picking this song from the series.
Today has been for me one of those where I have a warped perspective of what’s happening around me. Today, things slowed down and I was able to create an impression of what was happening outside of me.
I love music. Music puts me in a very good space. I take time to look for my music. I put in effort. If it’s a particular sound I like, I shall spend the time to get it, even if it means scrolling through thousands of comments on youtube or watching movie credits or even shazaming the song.
I think today is flash back music day! I was at home earlier and watched Oblivion, and the scoring in there was so beautifully done I downloaded the entire album. It is what I’ve been listening to since lunch.
My passion for music exceeds the basic minimum for music fans because I always work to music. And depending on the work or project I am doing, particular music shall do it for me. Music to me creates moments. Moments where I tend to reminisce and commit to memory.
Music is memory.
We always get a chance anew when we wake every morning to do something completely different from what we did the day before. Each day when we wake, we get a new canvas to paint.
Well, my new beginnings is, I am getting married.
It’s been an interesting journey up to this point and a refreshing one at that. Right now, my mind is caught up with so many things, organizing the wedding being the main thing.
Getting married is so much different from dating. First things first, it is a choice. And not a feeling. You don’t feel like getting married, you choose to get married. And much like choosing, you choose to love your partner every day, for the rest of your lives. And I think that is exciting. And much like a choice, we get to choose everyday when we wake up to love our partners.
New beginnings means that we have new choices.
What are your new beginnings?