P.3A Musings – First Day of School

Back in the day, 1996 to be exact, I transitioned from a day primary school to a boarding primary school. It was all sorts of exciting my first day. It was Wednesday and I checked into P.3A at around 3:00pm that afternoon. Ms Nabwire my class teacher welcomed me with open arms. I look different from most of my classmates. My eyes had life yet theirs looked like the lunch they had just an hour ago was there no more.

Boarding school had been a big dream of mine. I had spent the whole of my first term of P.3 in Kitante Primary school convincing my parents that boarding school would be the best thing that happened to me. I doubt they actually knew the reasons why I wanted to go to boarding school so bad. I’d spent the holiday with my friend James, and from how he described boarding school, it sounded a lot like Jesus’ second coming – paradise.

James had told me that he was given pocket money and was allowed to carry grab, and he had proof to show. He had returned home that holiday with 800/- shillings of the 1,000/- shillings he was given at the beginning of the term. While standing at the neighbourhood canteen with James narrating what boarding school was like, while buying ball gum for 50/- shillings, I knew I had to join too. He then told me how he still had some of the g.nuts, small daddies, biscuits and quencher left over from the previous term at home. I was even more sold. Boarding school was a must. He also told me that there was a visiting day where parents brought all sorts of food when they came to see you and you could eat all you want. What? This was the nail, the hammer at that point was useless.

And here I was now, looking at a bunch of starved kids, looking back at me like their next prey. It was then that I realized that I had made a very very huge mistake. To top all that, my parents left for home without leaving me any pocket money. Nor did they leave me with g.nuts, small daddies, biscuits or even quencher. Remembering, James had told me that they carried lear, or was it layer, maybe leah? Oh well, there was no leah in this school. Layer was clothes you carried from home that was not uniform and was worn when you were done with the main school stuff. Well, St. Savio had a bunch of red clothes I had to put on when all the school stuff was done.

Was the dream James sold me different from what my reality was? Where was James? I thought there was only one boarding primary school? Did he go to a different one? At that moment, standing in front of Ms Nabwire, I was not going to school, I was walking into jail. It was then that I realized I had made the biggest mistake of my life, thinking like an adult. Was this really boarding school?

29

I have had a lot to write about recently but where my mind has been, even I could not dig it out. But today, I must write because today begins a transition, significantly more important, or less, because I was born 29 years ago (some still say I am 24! Thanks Kylie). As I begin this rather exciting journey, I honestly look back at some significant things that have happened in my life. Also, I feel old albeit still feeling young. Life is but a paradox! 

1. I’d like to thank my parents. Honestly, I sometimes think they look at me and wonder, is this what we made? I don’t think I have disappointed them yet, or have I? Nonetheless, I am here because of them and now that I am old, and know how babies are made, eeeewwwww mum and dad.

2. Being a first born is dope. Till you get competition, and some more, and then you just stop being relevant when the fifth comes along. Yes, I am talking about my siblings who took my limelight year after year. Those idiots surprisingly are good company till they take some of the love that was originally yours.

3. I was born on Easter Sunday these many years ago. And 3 is my fave number. Sometimes I feel like Jesus, because of my birthday. Well, my point is that 3 is my fave number.

4. I once escaped from home – Makerere, when I was 4 to go for my cousin’s birthday in Kamwokya. My mum claims, I am not to sure or even remember doing this but hey, my big head got beaten because of that. 

5. My neigbour once gave me a toy car for my birthday and after we cut the cake, this dude took back his toy car. Apparently the father hadn’t given him permission to. I know, it’s been this long but hey, I can forgive but not forget. Got circumcised too! Lol.

6. I had my first crush.

7. I once got drunk and passed out in a banana plantation at a baptism party somewhere in Nabbingo. The coke tasted different. My uncle gave me some of his punch and I was KOed before I knew it. Luckily, I woke up in time for the cake cutting. I love cake too.

8. I joined boarding school.

9. Mehn, I was still in boarding school and it sucked but hey, I had made the decision all because my cousin was given pocket money.

10. I was in a heist. Bun robbers to be precise. Our buns has been locked up by the class teacher because we were noise makers. So, I decided to take the initiative and break into the cupboard. That’s how I met my best friend, then. 

11. Boarding school had refused to end, but I was just a year away from P.7, I had to hung in there. The system had broken me. And then my class teacher comes to tell us that we shall never stop learning. This hurt, seeing as I was tired of school. Little did I know that I would understand this when I was finally done with school.

12. Finally! Done with boarding school, candidate of the millennium. And then my arch rival was born. The last of five, first of they took all the love from us! My baby brother. 

13. I thought I grew up a little here. Oh the famed secondary school level! And my passion for writing was thus ignited. I started to write in a journal. I should look up some of these journals and see where my mind was!

14. Secondary school was easy. And my innate passion for Architecture was triggered. I was rather fascinated by buildings.

15. I read my first Novel. Not sure what the title was, but it was a Sydney Sheldon book. Thought him to be a lady seeing as most of his protagonists were ladies.

16. Of crushes and love letters. Hello, CLAK! I also learnt to drive. I once stole my father’s car just to drive around the nieghbourhood before I was caught and told to write an apology letter and within it reasons as to why I stole the car! Aha!

17. Almost there. I can finally see the light. Almost done with tertiary education. Honestly, my high school was not as impressive as some people say theirs were! I was a laid back chilled guy trying to live another day. 

18. Uhm. Grown up woot woot. Honestly, it was the first time I realized that I was grown up and I could get jailed. I also went to cooking school because I had the driving thing locked down 😎! 

19. Hello campus and all the bad decisions! Very frightening bad decisions. First successful surgery! First relationship. I remember telling her we were going to get married! 

20. First break up! Who knew relationships were not as rosy as what I watched in the Notebook! 

21. Maybe Architecture is not as easy as I thought it was. 

22. Who am I and why am I here! The famed introspective question hits me. What is life? And the sickness kicks in! Depression also kicks in. There was a lot of anger in me that never seemed to have an outlet! 

23. Hummmm? Life happened. 

24. Isn’t love a beautiful thing. MMMKR!

25. The typical midlife crisis! For Ugandans that is. Isn’t adulting a trap. Got my first job as a client service personnel in an advertising firm. I was tired of Architecture and need a mental break. 

26. Maybe Architecture is not that bad at all. I also started and owned a restaurant, and also failed. 2014 was a year of many things. I also registered my first company!

27. I honestly felt I had been through a lot. Three jobs in three years and a failed restaurant, and a project that took me deep deep into the village was also the reason I needed to officially start my own company.

28. Last year was amazing. C.E.O things aside, I just realized that time is something we barely grasp, and I needed to get myself in order. I also met some really amazing people. I won’t mention them, but they know themselves. They have made my rather mundane life a little thrilling. They’ve got my back even I fall off the chair. They’ve propped me and reminded me that I am special. But what can I say, Lulu and Lula have really been awesome. Eve, Mark, and Justin. Robert and Marvin are the other musketeers. There’s one who went but she won’t be forgotten, Julie – we got your back! 

29. I don’t think I’ve said much, but I am just grateful for the gift of life, for the gift of family, for the gift of friends, for the gift of tomorrow, for the gift of work. The older I grow, the more I realize that the things I held most significant might not matter tomorrow but as long as I stay true to myself, and believe in doing the right thing, and giving my most, I shall be happy. As I start this new year, I don’t believe there can be a new me, but rather a refined me, from the lessons I have learnt these past few years. Like my maths teacher said when I was 10 or 11, we never stop learning. And he should have added something, we never stop growing. Spread love, peace and a little laughter here and there.

Happy birthday Conrad.

Darkness; The Night

I once was afraid of the night
With it came crawling monsters
Monsters my mind made up
And up my mind they crawled
Tickling me with fear
Until I shut my eyes wishing them away

I once was afraid of the night
With it came nothingness
Nothingness that twirled my mind
And it twirled me with nothingness
Twisting me with fear
Until I shut my eyes wishing my mind blank

I am afraid of the night
With it comes the abyss
An abyss that stifles my mind
And it stifles me within an abyss
An emptiness unfulfilled
Until I shut my eyes wishing my mind alight
*

I stood by the gate that night, puffing away at the cigarette wondering how I had come to this. I thought I had quit the habit! Why was I puffing well knowing I’d be coughing the rest of the morning away? I stared at the clear deep blue sky, stars shining, musing, whose brightness I was just seeing. Stars that had faded light years away, no longer existing but whose light I was just only seeing. In me invoked a sadness, a sadness that arose from how incapable I was, how minute we were. And I continued to stare into the abyss of the deep blue sky counting the stars, the physics behind the light, the metaphysics of human life and I puffed again, well knowing I was just as insignificant but believing mine was a role I had to play in this destiny we call life.

From Russia With Love…

I stared at her long enough to memorize every part of her face, the stress lines and the scars, the thinness of her eyebrows and the big round eyes that seemed to question how we’d come to this point. It had been a strange week. It had been an amazing week. It all started with a random conversation late that previous night where the hours seemed to make the conversation more dry and deeper, and before we knew it, confessions previous – had now matured into expressions of otherwise a deeper sentiment. And now we were here, sharing a pot of tea wondering about what we had talked about.

We had been to this restaurant before for an ice cream date that wasn’t exactly a date in the normal sense of the word or activity. We had been friends a while and as with time decided to catch up on life with a few spoonfuls of ice cream hence coming to this restaurant, just a stone throw away from where I worked. We had left the restaurant that evening bitter and angry at how the receipt and the menu had different prices for the ice cream. And yet here we were now, enjoying a hot cup of tea laughing about nothing, talking about many things, and yet, last night had been different. Last night, something had changed.

I cracked a joke about how we had hated this restaurant the first time and yet we were back here. It must have been the tea! To be honest, one pot of tea has six servings. She exclaimed at how tea should be the cheapest thing, I mean, it was water with just some flavour to it. I kept on staring at her and replaying the conversation we had had just last night. Strange how time changes things, creates moments. She was going back home, she was travelling soon, and although we smiled, we knew that this fleeting and exciting moment would not last forever. We had to seize it, to be in it.

I pointed towards the waiter…asking him to bring the menu.

I look towards her, and ask her, since this is our last week together, what should we have for dinner today?

She points at something in the corner, where I stare and read it out loud to the waiter…

“Can we have the From Russia with Love?”

8 Years

8 Year Anniversary Achievement
Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!
You registered on WordPress.com 8 years ago!
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging!
It’s been a great 8 years and I dare say that my writing and the Thought Process has grown and improved. So here’s to many more.
Cheers!

Valentine’s Day – Uhm!

In a rather bizarre series of events, I’ve never actually celebrated Valentine’s with anyone! Yesterday -it was only but yesterday -while people wore their best red dresses and suits and carried around flowers, I was at home mulling, wondering whether I should sleep early or just wait up for the All Star game, and the Mamba’s last game. Things have just never worked out for me on this day, and maybe that’s why I despise it. While people eat chocolate and look into each other’s eyes, I laze around on a couch wondering who will win the game tonight.

In a rather complex set and bizarre situation, I find my self cold, deep inside where the feels are said to come from. Relationships are a gamble to many, while to me, it’s a series of equations that I feel should benefit me, and when they don’t, I blast open the bank vaults and run like the wind, tail tacked trying to wash away the love shared and bared.

In a rather confusing manner, I am happiest when people are happiest. I’d rather downplay my happiness just to see other people happy.But the reason I write this is because I want to share my sentiments on what love is, what it should be! – hey don’t judge!

  1. Don’t quantify it. You either give it or don’t, there’s no 50 50, or 60 40 or 100%. You just do it, like Nike.
  2. Sometimes you can be too busy to be with a loved one. I am perplexed at the notion that you must  be there for a loved one, all the time. This is life, the variables themselves don’t support this notion. But true, love involves sacrifice, be it personal, emotional or physical.
  3. Do you actually deserve what you get? I am torn when people say they deserve to get (better) things because of what they’ve done or what they didn’t do. You definitely deserve the best, in love, but it is not necessarily the last or the only one thing.
  4. Love is not and should not be reciprocal. The moment it takes that side, it becomes a game of quantity. I did this or you did that is not the language of love.
  5. The lady’s feelings and expectations are valid. As a gentleman, you either choose to or not to. Don’t waste each other’s time!
  6. If someone wants to be with you, uhm…for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Newton’s third law on love.
  7. It’s imperative that you respect your partner, and their boundaries. Also don’t be the douche whose boundaries upset your partner and still talk about having boundaries.
  8. Go with the flow. Always go with the flow. There’s an African proverb about the river that goes with the flow. Trust me, I read it somewhere.
  9. Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship.

  10. Picked that (9) from somewhere. I think this was some kind of rebuttal, or a failed attempt at it. Again, love it love, just do it.

These are just mere sentiments. Some don’t even apply because fact is, Love is just that, Love. It has meaning, it has no meaning. It has importance, it has no importance. It’s a like a catch 22, a double edged sword and when you play around with it, you get burned.

So, Happy Valentine’s anyone?