Ode to the FXK

There’s men
There’s men of great character
Then there’s FXK

There’s principles
There’s men with great principles
Then there’s FXK

There’s love
There’s great love
Then there’s FXK

There’s virtue
There’s great virtue
Then there’s FXK

Now with the stars
His light continues to shine
Even when we can only feel
His presence in the void
Of a darkness we hold
Of a great life time, past
Light years away
We still hold dear to us
Our great, Grandfather!

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F.X.K

Francis Xavier Kanyeihamba!

08-08-2019!

About two weeks or so ago, I called my grandfather asking about the origins of my mother’s village while inputting data at the passport office. In a hurry, I asked how he was, and promised to call back.

About a week or so, I visited  a project in Bushenyi that I was supervising, and on my way I thought I should give him a call to see how he was doing. For reason unbeknownst, he’d been on my mind all week.

We’d always talked about writing a book about his great life. Like how he was arrested by the Obote 2 government! Like how he had gone to Oxford! Like how he’d worked for the government and much more. Unfortunately, in his old age, writing even though he was good at, he could do no more.

And last week, Thursday, 8:00pm, I got a message saying he’d passed on.

I have a heavy heart for things left unsaid. But I am proud, of the great man he was. I sometimes feel like my passion to write is because of him! I now know that the reason I love to write is because of him! He was a great journalist! Part of the reason he was arrested.

When he was being laid to rest, I was struck by the thought that I’d never see him again, let alone pick his mind on all things, things!

And what I take home from him, is to love, and to love unconditionally. He was a man all about love, for the things he did, for his family and those principles ingrained somewhere in my DNA are the reason I am proud of him!

A toast to the greatest grandfather I ever knew!

F.X.k

Francis Xavier!

6 Months!

Life has moved on so fast you’d think that nothing big happened at the beginning of the year. We have settled into a rhythm that you’d think everything is as it’s supposed to be. Well, a few days ago, we marked six months into our marriage. I’ve never been one to keep dates or even make them a big thing but when you wake up next to someone everyday, and it’s going to be like this for the rest of your life, why not count, right?

My friends the other day were complaining about how newly married couples are quick to dish out marriage advice like they are the masters of this game. I mused because there’s some truth to that, well, not on my part. It’s like how new mothers are quick to share their life changing experiences like they’ve done it more than once before, uhm!

I am not, and I hope I don’t become those people. I’ve decided to take on this journey like those spontaneous trips you take with a group of friends which I know always turn out to be the best trips of your life. I know this is going to be the best trip of my life! It had better be.

So a couple I know recently got married and were sharing tips on how to make a marriage work, saving tips for weddings, nooks for the honeymoon and so much yet I’ve either forgotten mine or perhaps that’s not an experience I am willing to go through again. Honestly, it would feel a lot like repeating a class or getting a retake. All I know is, as long as your partner – best friend and you are on the same page, the rest is just deliberations. And more deliberations.

6.

Six months feels like the journey has just started. There’s been lot’s of experiences, some which catch you off guard like being told you snore or realizing your partner sleeps like a cute kitten while you splay your legs all over the bed like you are doing exercise. Or like your friends calling you fat because they believe your wife is feeding you well. Yes, jealous much? And no, I am not that fat but I look good. Or having someone pick out your clothes, and combing your hair because you can’t get your sideburns neat enough!

I am starting to sound like those people I hate! Aha!

What’s there to celebrate in six months? Well, I’ve finally accepted that there’s someone whose opinion matters more than mine does! Facts! Here’s a toast to the next 60 months, then 600 months! 6000 months? Well, let the story begin!

No Regrets

I’ve been struck by the flu my nose feels like a tsunami of mucus just hit me. Sorry about the graphic image but that’s what it feels like. My wife and I decided to baby sit my niece and nephew for a weekend and the result was this – flu! And which by the way, hadn’t disturbed me for close to a year or even two. I’ve been stuck home the whole week.

Who here has been frustrated and stuck to the point where they don’t know where and what’s going on such that even the little hope you have starts to fade?

Me!

It’s gotten to the point where I am asking God, what’s up? Like for real for real!

In the many years I’ve lived, I’ve gone by principle of ‘no regrets!’ And this goes especially to the decisions I’ve made knowingly or unknowingly because I believe that these things happen or would have happened for a reason! It’s like a little bit of chaos theory and Murphy’s law combined! And it’s been ingrained in my system that I believe that was my way of life! So, when the Bible teaches about the Spirit and the influence we have over our lives, honestly, I am conflicted. It’s like a constant battle between the man in me and the Spirit!

Anyway, fact of the matter is that all will be well.

The slow business, the sickness, the personal frustrations!

I believe it’s about growth, it’s always about growth, and that why –

No regrets!

Good Goodbye

Good Goodbye
Old man, let me wipe your eyes
I’ve never seen you cry

Old friend, in your own sweet time

We’ll say a good goodbye
All my life I know by now

All these memories, too much to lose

No one ever leaves you
I don’t need faith, I don’t need truth
No one ever leaves you

You’d say this is all there is

And every time you’d blink
You’d miss another piece of this wondrous world
All I’d ask is why you’d leave so soon
Everybody seems to
I don’t need faith I just want you
No one ever leaves you

Everybody raise a glass heres to a good goodbye
Everybody raise a glass heres to a good goodbye
Everybody raise a glass heres to a good goodbye
Oh, everybody raise a glass, oh

All these memories too much to lose

No one ever leaves you
I don’t need faith I don’t need truth
No one ever leaves you
I don’t need faith I just want proof
This song has been on mind for an entire day now! The melody itself just puts you in a soulful mood. It’s the kind of song that gives retrospective and perspective to what is happening around you!
I thought I had to share.

Moving House

*This is one huge sitting room, ey!

So, we moved house yesterday! I am tired but inspired to write.

Moving house has never been my cup of tea but when my wife insisted, I had to.

*I’d like to give a shout out to Free Movers  who came in, packed everything and moved us.

I think I have a difficult time moving. It’s new patterns, paths, shopping areas, markets and many more. When moving, what is key for me is accessibility, comfort and security. If a place doesn’t meet the three, then I won’t bother. When I look at comfort, I look out for the size of the rooms, the light in the space, WATER, the kitchen and bathroom and finally, the bedroom.

I once stayed in a nice place before later realizing the water went and came like a visitor. I’d barely had water in the kitchen – which runs on the main line, for the year or so that I had stayed in that place. I couldn’t use the kitchen at all.

The bathroom is essential. A good bathroom goes a long way! I’ve been house hunting in places where the bathroom didn’t have a window and I honestly advised the broker to let the client know about the dangers. The entire space was humid. I honestly felt sorry for people who’d lived in or were going to.

On my new list of things to look out for in a place I am moving to is closet space. Good closet space is essential. Who builds closets without drawers?

*Have you listened to Good Goodbye by Lianne La Havas? 

So, we moved into the new place on Sunday and we are already settled in. It was a crazy day but everything was set! And here I am writing, musing, in my new place.

 

Via Via – Entebbe

I am not one to celebrate birthdays unlike my wife who would willing make a scene if we didn’t celebrate hers. And I love my wife for that, especially the things she’s madly interested in. I’ve recently found that we are different and yet similar in many ways.

Anyway, I am not a big birthday buff, and my wife is.

When I was growing up, we rarely celebrated birthdays at home, and seeing as two thirds of us celebrate our birthdays in the first quarter of the year, we usually just celebrated one – in January and commemorated the others there after.

So, when my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, well, I said I wanted nothing. You should have seen her face! WHAT? What do you mean nothing? I was comfortable in having a special meal and that was it! She honestly believed I was kidding!

What is interesting though is that my mother in law and I share a birthday and so I encouraged her to focus on making her day special. I would be just fine! For the longest time, my friends and I would just go grab a beer and call it a night, and maybe get a cake. My wife went into full celebration mode.

My birthday was last week on Wednesday so;

I had the special dinner (with her) on Wednesday after grabbing a quick drink with my friends. And I was happy, and called it a birthday well spent.

Thursday is MT – Marriage Time (thanks to Winzi’s guidance, you should get in touch if you are serious about this thing) and we spent it cooking for each other and experimenting with recipes!

We were supposed to spend the weekend in Entebbe as I was accompanying her for a conference there. And that’s when we landed on this little cozy hot spot, and my my was my birthday starting. Via Via is amazing. Romantic getaway or just a get away, just go there and see how you will get away! The service is top notch, ambiance – amazing, and most of all, the people are just fantastic. Be ware not to feed the dogs! I learnt the bark way! Friday was bang!

Saturday, we had fish! How do you go to Entebbe and NOT eat fish! We convened at Kaz Gardens to wind down the evening and the birthday! It was all laughs until the games began! Please, I beg, stay away from 30 Seconds if you and your loved ones want to continue your beautiful relationship! Do. Not. Mess. With. That. Game!

Back home exhausted, I was awoken early Sunday morning for a breakfast plan – 7:00am which we were supposedly supposed to have with my mother in law but alas, it was my mother who had surprised me! What’s a birthday without the Cafe Javas’ team singing for you! Yeah! What a way to begin Sunday! And then we had to go celebrate my mother in law’s birthday there after. I could barely eat anything!

Let it be known that my prowess in eating my in-laws’ food is something I am proud of. It is not a joking subject.

Well, there was cake! And we cut cake! What a way to start and end the birthday week! It was pure joy and kudos to my wife for surprising me after asking me for what I wanted for my birthday. In case you are not afraid of losing our relationship, join me and my wife for Taboo or 30 Seconds in our new home! Fire, only!

Happy birthday C.K!