6 Months!

Life has moved on so fast you’d think that nothing big happened at the beginning of the year. We have settled into a rhythm that you’d think everything is as it’s supposed to be. Well, a few days ago, we marked six months into our marriage. I’ve never been one to keep dates or even make them a big thing but when you wake up next to someone everyday, and it’s going to be like this for the rest of your life, why not count, right?

My friends the other day were complaining about how newly married couples are quick to dish out marriage advice like they are the masters of this game. I mused because there’s some truth to that, well, not on my part. It’s like how new mothers are quick to share their life changing experiences like they’ve done it more than once before, uhm!

I am not, and I hope I don’t become those people. I’ve decided to take on this journey like those spontaneous trips you take with a group of friends which I know always turn out to be the best trips of your life. I know this is going to be the best trip of my life! It had better be.

So a couple I know recently got married and were sharing tips on how to make a marriage work, saving tips for weddings, nooks for the honeymoon and so much yet I’ve either forgotten mine or perhaps that’s not an experience I am willing to go through again. Honestly, it would feel a lot like repeating a class or getting a retake. All I know is, as long as your partner – best friend and you are on the same page, the rest is just deliberations. And more deliberations.

6.

Six months feels like the journey has just started. There’s been lot’s of experiences, some which catch you off guard like being told you snore or realizing your partner sleeps like a cute kitten while you splay your legs all over the bed like you are doing exercise. Or like your friends calling you fat because they believe your wife is feeding you well. Yes, jealous much? And no, I am not that fat but I look good. Or having someone pick out your clothes, and combing your hair because you can’t get your sideburns neat enough!

I am starting to sound like those people I hate! Aha!

What’s there to celebrate in six months? Well, I’ve finally accepted that there’s someone whose opinion matters more than mine does! Facts! Here’s a toast to the next 60 months, then 600 months! 6000 months? Well, let the story begin!

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Day 10…

Back home!

Sorry, got so caught because today’s

Day 12!

I thought I had stuff but she has stuff stuff! I could probably fit my belongings in a suit case or two but well, she brought home 5! I think she needs an extra room for just her clothes and more.

Home is home! We’ve quickly settled in. We are figuring it out! I think the question that’s on both our minds is how do you move from dating and being in a normal relationship to being married?

We are re-learning and re-quainting ourselves with our new roles as husband and wife! Physically and emotionally, nothing has changed but mentally, things are ticking! I mean, we are both wearing rings! I sometimes catch myself staring at my ring finger, musing at how things have changed and yet are truly the same!

Light and love

C.K

13-01-2019

Day 1

Today, when I woke up, it didn’t dawn on me that I was married! Now, much later in the wee morning hours as I wait to set off for my honeymoon, it’s creeping onto me that I am actually married!

Do I feel any different?

No! Nah!

Maybe?

Yes! Yes I do!

Yesterday was sooooooo much fun! From waking up early to preparing the groomsmen to going to church, and going to some more church, and saying We Do, to the crazy photo shoot and later party! It’s been a great time and was a great day!

Weird thing though, it seems guys had more fun at my party than I did! Like, they balled out for real!

I honestly want reviews for my wedding!

Yesterday, God did it!

1. It shone the entire day! I was worried about the rain and how crazy it would be since our wedding was at the water front! But, it didn’t rain and we had a fantastic day!

2. It feels weird, in a good way, to be wearing a ring, a freaking WEDDIN’ ring! I like it!

3. Friends came through for me! Family came through for me more! I love you guys, and if you read this, I am going to revenge kindly on you guys!

4. It feels good to be called Mr and Mrs!

5. Yeah, I got the ring! Not her, me! I got the ring! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Happy New Year folks!

Light

In lieu of the recent stories about harassment that have come out, and the campaigns Men are Trash and Me Too, it’s brought home some very crucial thoughts.

Because I was, allows me to become what I am.

I am not a saint. I’ve done some very unquestionably stupid things. And no, not heinous but very stupid.

Society has a warped sense of what dating is these days. A society that claims men have to chase, and even if the woman says no, you have to chase even harder and many times aggressively is what seems as the norm these days. And I was of the same mind-set then but now, I see light.

When I see men get offended by these two campaigns, I honestly feel saddened by the fact that they are missing the points. The argument isn’t even against them, it’s for them.

The conversation shouldn’t be centered around the women in your life but all the women. Do WE have to wait for shit to happen to those closest to us for us to actually feel the need to act? I hate to imagine that that’s the case, and it shouldn’t!

We don’t have to see the light for us to believe that there’s light. We don’t have to experience hurt for us to believe there’s hurt out there. We need to be the light. We have to be the light. And no, I don’t speak to men but women alike. We need to go out and be the light.

I read stories of hurt out there and are saddened by how inhumane we can actually get, can actually be.

Before you speak, think about what you are going to say and the impact it is going to have. When the story of the MP who was stalked and harassed came to light, I was apprehensive. The story was painted in such a way that I’d almost sided against her! He’s young! He’s just expressing his love! He should be allowed to! He actually didn’t get physical were some of the very many disgusting things people were saying. Our social conditioning is so BAD we are quick to believe what the media says.

There’s many people who’ve been hurt out there. I once felt powerless too. Emotional pain is not something you can overcome. So be the light. Take a step back. Try and wear those shoes, and see if you are truly capable of having that opinion. We don’t have to wait for tomorrow to be a light, a beacon of hope. Reach out to those who you feel need help. Reach out to those who you believe you’ve hurt. It goes a long way to know that someone feels differently about a situation you’ve been through, or are going through.

I am a light.

Be light.