CAKE!

Louder please!

I’ve always been fascinated by cake. It’s like a primal instinct to me. A party without cake is not a party to me. Honestly, I only go to parties because of cake. It seems I was cake deficient when I was growing up.

I mean, I am the kind of person to buy my own birthday cake an eat it without telling anyone.

Cake to me is like…yeah, that one thing you can’t go without!

The story behind my fascination with cake starts when I am 3! Back then, my mother and aunties used to bake cakes. They made wedding cakes, birthday cakes and the sorts. I don’t remember them being for sale but there was cake everywhere! My mother used to get the biggest plastic basin and add butter, sugar and whip it till it turned cream before adding flour nebigenderako! My job was to lick the basin after that! Then came the best part, icing! Men oh men, I’d probably eat half of it before the mixture was done. I usually keep musing at why they stopped backing! High electricity bills and the sort is all I get as an answer from them!

None the less, cake is my achilles’ heel! You know that thing that sounds provocative, yeah, that’s cake for me!

So, when I see people sharing cake on their statuses, which is twice as many this month, I am tempted to order a cake for myself and cut it. And I think I should do that now!

CAKE! 🎂

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Light

In lieu of the recent stories about harassment that have come out, and the campaigns Men are Trash and Me Too, it’s brought home some very crucial thoughts.

Because I was, allows me to become what I am.

I am not a saint. I’ve done some very unquestionably stupid things. And no, not heinous but very stupid.

Society has a warped sense of what dating is these days. A society that claims men have to chase, and even if the woman says no, you have to chase even harder and many times aggressively is what seems as the norm these days. And I was of the same mind-set then but now, I see light.

When I see men get offended by these two campaigns, I honestly feel saddened by the fact that they are missing the points. The argument isn’t even against them, it’s for them.

The conversation shouldn’t be centered around the women in your life but all the women. Do WE have to wait for shit to happen to those closest to us for us to actually feel the need to act? I hate to imagine that that’s the case, and it shouldn’t!

We don’t have to see the light for us to believe that there’s light. We don’t have to experience hurt for us to believe there’s hurt out there. We need to be the light. We have to be the light. And no, I don’t speak to men but women alike. We need to go out and be the light.

I read stories of hurt out there and are saddened by how inhumane we can actually get, can actually be.

Before you speak, think about what you are going to say and the impact it is going to have. When the story of the MP who was stalked and harassed came to light, I was apprehensive. The story was painted in such a way that I’d almost sided against her! He’s young! He’s just expressing his love! He should be allowed to! He actually didn’t get physical were some of the very many disgusting things people were saying. Our social conditioning is so BAD we are quick to believe what the media says.

There’s many people who’ve been hurt out there. I once felt powerless too. Emotional pain is not something you can overcome. So be the light. Take a step back. Try and wear those shoes, and see if you are truly capable of having that opinion. We don’t have to wait for tomorrow to be a light, a beacon of hope. Reach out to those who you feel need help. Reach out to those who you believe you’ve hurt. It goes a long way to know that someone feels differently about a situation you’ve been through, or are going through.

I am a light.

Be light.

Who are you?

Imagine what it actually feels like to sleep walk and be aware of it?

Do you ever feel like life sometimes feels like we are sleep walking, partially aware of the moment but never truly grasping it?

Who are we? Who am I?

I sometimes wake up to this question. I feel like I am destined for greatness, and sometimes I feel like the days are just passing by me.

Yesterday, my famsquad and I were in Wakiso for a reach out to students in the neighbouring schools. We were there to sing and lead worship, and it was a beautiful thing. Seeing people get excited and singing along to the praise and worship was indeed uplifting. And then came a mini-talent show where each school had a few of their students come onto stage and sing, rap and recite poetry. But this is not why I am writing this!

When all was done and we were catching up during lunch, we shared a few high school stories and how we were bullied. It was sad! The sermon was talking about our identity and how most times people will remember the one bad thing you did and forget all the good works you’ve ever done. But Christ doesn’t.

It is us who guilt trip ourselves into believing that our sins are imputed and will reflect on the final judgement. Our lead pastor – Paul, talked about how sin is like a stain that Christ cleansed and yet we think that we should be the ones to do that. No, we can’t. And it brought me into this space where I wondered if I could do as Christ has done.

Love my enemies. Love my detractors. Love those that have hurt me. Love those that seek to hurt me. Love those who’ve played me for a fool.

And it further pushed me to the point of reflection! Will my enemies love me? Will those I detract love me? Will those I’ve hurt love me? And those I played for a fool?

So who am I?

Many like me and my famsquad are stuck in this space trying to figure out who we are and yet trying to be better than we are yesterday! We are on a journey hoping that every stop we make along the way is an important one.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian much less than staying in a coup makes you a chicken!

A church is a gathering but a gathering can’t necessarily be a church!

What makes the choice of church you go to much important to you than any other space?

We can’t change people. You only meet resistance when you do that!

Those were some mental notes in yesterday’s conversation.

I wish you all a happy week, and day.

Ma-things

Eh!

Guys, marriage, aha!

These ma-things, ara!

So, my partner and I had a little squabble. A small one, a tiny one but the way relationships are set up; we both failed to communicate about it because we assumed – i) I thought she knew me, ii) she thought I knew her!

Marriage is a commitment. Marriage is sacred. Marriage is legit dope if you have your best friend by your side! But, like relationships, best friends disagree, and fight occasionally and we disagreed the other day.

Usually, when people disagree, there’s resentment and anger and disappointment BUT that is bound to happen. So what do you do when you fight with your partner?

1. Remember the struggle. For guys, remember what it meant when she said yes the first time. And struggle here is in jest. Remember your journey, how far you’ve come.

2. Time out; always go back to that space where you can both be heard. Most times in relationships, one listens while the other speaks. So go to that space. Or if you don’t have that space, make it.

3. Who made you? Who grew you? If Christ is your foundation, surely these squabbles can come to pass for through His love, we learn to love and by renewing our minds continuously, what are squabbles with your best friend if not just a reminder that you came together with your differences to become ONE!

I believe it’s an opportunity to renew your mind when you squabble!

On Parenting

Guys, would you want to have a child like you? Do you believe you’d be an awesome parent if you had a child like you?

This post is sponsored by me; in a moment of reflection, I’ve asked and tasked myself, would I be a parent to me? A good parent like mine have been. Patient and understanding like they have been. Empowering and difficult like they have been!

To better understand what I am writing about, I am getting married to the most amazing person. Like for real for real! She’s so dope that nothing, and I say nothing can stop me from doing anything for her. But that’s besides the point. We’ve recently been talking about children, how many and nebigenderako to mention but a few.

Children are a gift from God and like a gift, it’s an amazing thing.

But am I gift to my parents?

Me as me, nze nga nze, I find myself difficult! My parents used to call him mawire pronounced as ma from mother and wire as in electric wire! I used to snap faster than a shot was fired. I remember fighting with the entire family, and I mean, ENTIRE family because my young brother changed a the channel on TV while I was watching! Woooow! Still surprises me!

At that moment, I was ashamed. Was it worth it? What did my parents think about me? Would I want a child as difficult as I was?

See how I referred to myself in the past persona?

I’ve renewed my mind since then. I’ve grown. I’ve reflected on my identity! I used to be difficult, stubborn, big headed, crazy, spontaneous and irrational, but I’ve come out of that space and season much better. There’s a humility I try to wear, hoping to be better and influence people around me for the better.

I can’t wait to have a child(ren) and hopefully mentor, guide and strengthen them to be wise, better and humble. And I don’t believe I can do this alone *wink wink, but with my partner and Christ as the foundation!

So, would you want a child like you?

Your Heart

When I was younger, I don’t think I was aware of much of what was happening around me. Back in Primary School, in St Savio, I had a friend called Jonathan with whom I run my mischief! I remember ‘stealing’ buns whilst he was on the look out for any passers by back in Primary 4.

My first experience with Christ or being told about Him was also in St Savio. We had an old boy of the school who came by in Primary 4 encouraging us to become saved. Jonathan was quick to pick up on the idea, and he gave his life to Christ. Seeing that he had, and he was my best friend, I also decided to give my life to Christ.

Well, it didn’t last long because we were back to stealing buns and just being mischievous around school. The concept of being saved sounded new and weird. We had to repeat, if remember well, that we’ve accepted Christ as our personal savior and redeemer, and after we were prayed for. Being in a staunch Catholic boarding primary school, I felt like I was betraying my people.

Much later in High School, there was a craze. A savedee craze! Everyone was getting saved and listening to Christian music and discarding their black jeans because they were from the devil. Everything we did was unclean and was a sin. From how we dressed, to what we listened to. I mean, 50 Cent’s In Da Club was making waves on the radio and suddenly it was unholy to listen to music. Well, my experience otherwise had showed me otherwise. I was not about that saved life!

That saved life back in high school was a strict nonsensical lifestyle! You either were saved or going to hell! I remember how we used to judge these saved people, wondering when they’d slip and fall. It was a crazy time. I still can’t believe some friends of mine turned down Sosh because they were saved.

Being saved has always been a stingy affair. What’s crazy is that if you are catholic or Anglican, you can’t be saved, or so I thought. I always believed myself a religious man, staunch catholic, said my rosary and could recite the creed like I was singing.

Like many families, ours is also susceptible to juju! And a few years ago, stories surfaced about members within the family practicing juju. Our home run amok with accusations and finger pointing. It was like a need for spiritual rejuvenation was required for the entire house hold. During that time, our home was filled with holy water, burning essence and abashabirizi (prayer specialists, juju extinguishers, foreseers and all these things)! And every time they came over, there was revelation upon revelation which led to finger pointing. A unity that was once held by silver strings was now snapped and with anger flaring, families broke up and banded into smaller families. Like war, they were casualties. My grandfather fell sick, to mention but a few.

With this in tow, I embarked on a spiritual journey. I needed to find this God everyone spoke of, one so mysterious He couldn’t reach out to me. Why were things falling apart? Pun intended. I started praying with a purpose of finding Him.

I then met Fr Raymond. Exceptional, brilliant, honest, open minded and supercool! When I met him, I had lots of questions but most of all, I needed answers. Like the lost sheep, I was looking for the Shepherd. And we started to talk and this opened new doors for me, and a realization that He was always in me.

Your Heart

These hands will wipe the tears for those who cry to you at night

And these feet will walk the miles to the place of those broken-hearted

And my voice will cry out for those who cry out for you

I’ll be your heart to the ones I meet

I’ll show love to the least of these

I would have never known if you didn’t first love me

I’ve learned to love when I’m your hands and feet

I’ve learned to love when I’m your hands and feet

I’ve learned to love Ill be your hands and feet

These eyes will see the hurt of those who suffer silently

And this mind will be like yours and believe what you called us to be

Unselfish, unchanging, unfailing love

I’ll be your heart to the ones I meet

I’ll show love to the least of these

I would have never known if u didn’t first love me

I’ve learned to love when I’m your hands and feet

I’ve learned to love Ill be your hands and feet

Listening to this song reminds me of the moment I found Christ. It reminds me of the moment I gave my life to Christ and started this journey. Now, I am very much aware of what having Him walk side by side with you feels like.

Healed

I believe I have spoken (written 🤦🏾‍♂️) about healing before on here. Today, I want to share about being healed.

To find and have Christ is to have life, and without him, death.

My healing and growth journey mostly begun when; I committed my life, purposefully set out to have Christ and continually renewed my mind with him every day. There’s so much joy and happiness in the Bible. In fact I call it my life hack.

Anyway, being healed means that you’ve purposefully set out to start a healing journey. And being healed in this case I am referring to emotional and spiritual healing.

I find that to date someone, and to commit to your relationship with them requires healing, and I am also going to infer to my relationship with my fiancée.

So, you know how this is a small world? Like how you date someone and find out you know their ex-es and they know yours and some might have been and are your friends? Mehn, I know. Small world innit! Anyway, I do know a few of hers and she does know mine! And the reason they are ex-es is for one or many reasons, we were hurt (well, we are victims) and in my partner’s eyes they don’t come off as angels. I mean, we tend to hate our partner’s ex because they hurt the now most precious thing in our life. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve said positive things about some of my ex-es. And this baggage if not properly dealt with becomes a burden to the new relationship and MUST be dealt with.

And so the need to be healed. (I don’t think I come off as an angel in my ex-es and damn that paragraph was as long and Jesus 💆🏾‍♂️)

Anyway, healing is a process, and usually our partners are buffers and help us to cathart. Some pain needs for you to continuously reassure your partner, help them heal, listen to them and most of all, LOVE them. Love the pain away. Love the hate and dislike away. Love the inadequacy away. Love them into growth. Love them into their identity. Love them like God, our Father has taught us to love.

When I look at my partner, I don’t just see Proverbs 31, but I understand 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 where verse 8 says; Love Never Fails! I preempt Psalms 23:1-6. People talk about Ephesians 5:20 but I know from 20-28. And most of all, to get her I am reminded of Matthew 7:7-8. Like I said earlier, the Bible is my life hack.

Anyway, some few months ago, just sharing about our growth emotionally we finally realized that we are not shaped by our past. It can influence our present situation but that IS a CHOICE we make. We choose to either let it make us or break us, to define us or not. And just reflecting on the pain we once had, we realized that we were healed, and the resentment, pain and all the negative emotions didn’t matter. That what mattered most NOW was my partner.

Now that’s something, isn’t it. What is important when you get healed is not your past but your present, and that’s all.

And we talked about our future, our dreams, and desires.

It’s a journey! Please, these things are easier written than done. I wear my emotions on my sleeves, and mehn oh mehn, the pictures I’ve painted of my ex-es, aha (😂😵)! And as I embellish on here, I am glad I reached out and apologized. And relationships are not rational, guys. Like the royco, kanzali n’ebigenderako we add when we talk about the devil incarnate 😂😂😂😂😂! Like ask my fiancée and see.

Anyway, I am just here to share. And in my sharing, I hope my experiences willhelp you heal!