Faith, Meditation and Prayer…

Uhm, this might get boring so, feel free to close the page, or type Amen and Like. Yes, this is one of those posts.

I remember at the beginning of the year emphasizing how I had started a spiritual journey. I was born into a staunch catholic family, and have been wearing my beads – rosary strong for some time now. I remember once when I was 16 I had a nightmare, the ones that seem to manifest in 3D, the ones so real you fail to sleep. It was quite a strange night. I had come to the dorm room at around 10:15pm, and had immediately slept off, and when I awoke from the nightmare, it was just 11:00pm. Lights had been turned off and my heart was pulsating at speeds faster than light. 

I couldn’t sleep that night, not with what I had just imagined or rather dreamt. I prayed that night, I got my beads and prayed, and prayed everyday after that before I went to bed. I came across prayers that resonated well, and put me in a good place before I went to bed. I also started to sleep with my rosary, shower with it, eat with it, wear it like any other dress cloth. I think for me that’s when my faith started to manifest and grow.

Being in a catholic school means mass twice a week and prayers every other day and in as much as it was boring, it set the foundation for me. 

Anyway, I did lose the belief when I joined campus, and didn’t pray as much or even go to church at all, but my beads stayed with me, and before I slept I prayed. Fast forward to this year, my faith renewed, I quite like where I am right now. I am not straight an arrrow but God got me so I am gonna be alright. I mean, I sometimes fall, a lot, but I keep on believing and that’s all you need, to believe. 

Team Jesus 💪🏾

October Blues

So, here goes…

In a conversation with a client, turned friend, I narrated to her about my experience with Banana Girl – refer to earlier post and how she would be doing her final primary leaving examinations (PLE) in a few days.

It so happens that on that day we met and talked, she had just bought cards for a ‘baby’ cousin who was going to be sitting their PLE exams as well. She was so touched by my story she gave me a ‘free’ or rather an extra card she had bought. Lucky me, right? I had promised to buy Caroline Kamahoro a card and deliver it but seeing as I had failed to, this was a grateful opportunity.

So, last evening on my way home, with the signed card from client friend and I, I delivered the card to Caroline, and I hope she aces her exams. The card talked about superceeding your limits, perfect for someone who was going out of their way to excel.

Anyway, here goes, success to you Caroline, the sky is no longer the limit. 

3:35am

My Friday nights are always a stay in because I always want to be on the basketball court early Saturday morning.

Earlier today, I was putting together what I was going to share next. From trying to strain my little brain cells tonight, it must be an experience one way or another, a story about someone. Also, if you are wondering what I am doing up this late, well, I exhausted my sleep two hours ago. I blacked out at around 10:30pm and woke up at 2:00am thinking it is 5:00am.

Today is also kind of special. My closest friend’s sister is getting married and we have to suit up. I know, I am puzzled too, not about me wearing a suit but rather the sooness with which she got married. I just heard about her engagement at the beginning of the year and voila. There’s also something interesting about our baby sister getting married before us old men. Oh well!

So, it’s about 3:43am and I am wondering when I will finally fall asleep because I am not about to take my sleepy head to the basketball court. Yesterday was hectic though. Anyway… 

Good morning…

Trying to bore myself with music 🤔

Intermission

What the FUCK is going on!

Oh, no, this is not me. 

End.

What do you do when the people who take care of you need to be taken care of? I never for one didn’t start to realize the pressure you are under when you have a family to take care of. Parents make our struggle feel effortless. They ensure that you are in school, are fed, have clothes on and much more. It was not until I started earning that I realized the struggles most people go through, family, money, work, life.

It’s just that yesterday, I met someone who was helping a lot of people and they needed help too, and all I could say was that things will get better. That life is about grinding through the minutes, hours, days, months, year and making sure that you enjoy that grind, control the downs, maximize the ups. It was sad. We are trapped in this cycle we call living, waking up and asking ourselves, what next. 

I just don’t want to be trapped. I don’t know how to be trapped. And recently, randomly musing to myself, I asked, how the hell to my parents deal with me, and my other siblings? And it brought on a set of complex emotions and thoughts.

So, today I am grateful. And I thank God for what I have, in whatever capacity, family, friends and enemies too. What’s life without trial? But I also made the absolute decision, again, to impact those around me and more. 

So, I will go for a Rolex today evening, and to my friends, keep going.

She…

She sits in the car, says she needs to take a nap and yet from her eyes, I can tell she has been crying. We make light fun of her situation just to cheer her up but unfortunately, there’s no pain like a heart break. She starts to tear after the joke has long gone. She wonders why she spent all this time, loved this man, made him a man, and yet he continues to go ahead and do this. To torment her and her feelings. Why are men dogs, she exclaims. She’s tired. She doesn’t know where to start from. She’s invested her last two years in what she termed as her future. She’s vexed. How dare he? She’s now the laughing stock of everyone. She shuts her eyes tight, wishing that this moment disappear, that this moment cease to exist, that she ceases to exist in this moment. She’s crying again. 

She.

July Mumbles 

It’s amazing what a month can do and what can happen in a month, months…and as I reach the half way mark, and begin the second half of the year, here are my July musings.

1. Fatigue.

I’ve never been as tired as I’ve recently been. Not even the sleepless weeks and nights in design school can compare to this. A friend mused at how fast I sleep off, another claimed that my body had a pass out clock. As soon as that time hit, it was goodnight for me. I’ve been working, for myself, my company, team, and clients. I actually seriously need a 28 hour day, but I am fine with just 24, for now. The other night as I was chatting a friend, I passed out a few seconds into the conversation, and the next morning, I awoke to very angry emojis. 

2. Caroline Kamahoro

I finally found out what Banana girl’s name is. That and the fact that she has a mother, and two brothers – in primary one and four, and that her school fees is the equivalent of what some people spend on a meal at Javas. And that she’s in Primary 7 and she wants to grow up and be successful. Talking to her as the lights turn green every other night puts my life in perspective. We sometimes have so much and yet not know how some people have very little of it. 

3. Hope

It’s an amazing word that one. And if you have it, keep it. If you can’t find it, believe it actually exists. It’s what I literally run on for the month of July…hope. 

4. People

Why are we a cold and selfish people? It’s amazing the hate one manifests for another. Preach love and not hate. 

5. Single

A friend and I were having tea the other day, and she was musing at how old and comfortable she has become since becoming single that she’d rather spend a whole weekend in bed watching Devious Maids. Obviously, I wondered at how you could spend all that time in bed, but hey. So, I made a decision, maybe I should just be that, alone, that and the fact I’ve run out of gusto and patience to deal with people.

6. More Hope

You ever feel like you are trapped, and can’t seem to find a way out? There’s this incandescent energy with us that keeps on pushing us forward – if you are actually interested in moving forward. More than anything, believe in yourself. I mean, no one will other than the people who put you on this earth, and sometimes, they might doubt some of the things we strive for. More than anything else, prove to yourself what you are made off, and when you succeed, remember, I told you so. Do it for yourself, not others. 

7. The Juliet Tumwesigye Foundation

My friends and I started the foundation on three principles; to help her family, to help ourselves and to help those in similar situations. And right now, we are helping her family and we are helping ourselves. So, my request is simple, if you are a frequent boda boda user, get yourself a helmet. It could save your life. Also, be careful in choosing your rider, try as much to see for any reckless scars on the hands, see the state of his bike. Before you haggle, know well whose hands you are putting your life. And for us the road users, car owners, a little patience will go a long way in saving someone’s life.

8. Happiness 

It’s within you. 

What’s love got to do?

Do you remember Tina Turner shriek in that beautiful voice of hers the words ‘what’s love got to do?’

Meet John. Sorry, John is a common name, but hey. He’s studied, listens to the finest music, jazzes about philosophy most of the time, and he’s failed to find the perfect fit. To John, the perfect fit has to meet and match his wit, understand his music, and understand the difference between  Venus and Mars.

Meet Sera. Sera loves to sing. She loves to have fun. She’s a jolly person. She’s adventurous and she wants a partner to meet and match her level of excitement. Sera loves to chat. To her, the perfect fit is someone who is mysterious, and much like a puzzle. She likes a challenge, and if you are not, you better hitch a ride out of her life.

James loves fast cars, and like his car, he loves fast women. It’s all about speed. To James, the perfect fit is one who is easy to maneuver and can easily get down, if you know what he means. 

Dora is a book worm, she’s studying for her masters. She’s been an A student, and deserves an A+ man. To Dora, he must have a Ph.D. or the equivalent. What’s your profession is her catch phrase. What’s your fit?

Meet Conrad, what’s love got to do?

Are we honestly and truly happy with ourselves? What’s love honestly got to do. Love is tired. Love is tired of the perfect fit, love is tired of the easy to be with, love is tired of the one who makes me happiest, love is tired. Love is fed up of people misusing his name. He bought me this, he loves me she says. She is a great lay, she loves me the most. Honestly, if you were love wouldn’t you be as tired. If love was Conrad, wouldn’t I be tired of all the things I have to do, say, or be to make you fully love me? Would you still Conrad if I didn’t do these things? Why can’t Conrad be simple.

I mean, replace love with your name every time you think love is gotta be a certain way and let me know if you would still want those things of yourself. What’s love got to do?