80% and loading. . . .

A couple of years ago, around 2009, I came across this amazing blog whilst still trying to figure out what exactly I was doing at the University. I was amazed at how someone had sequentially shared their ‘hustle’ and because I didn’t know the blogger, I followed. He had set out at the beginning of the year to make a certain amount of money in savings and he was basically sharing his chronicles. I read and tried to follow. He’d set out to make 66 million shillings which was about $30,000 within that time. Inspired 5 years later, I set out to do the same thing this year. Make 66 million shillings, Ugandan, by the end of this year. Guess what? I have 0 (zero) of that 66 million shillings currently and November has pretty much come to an end. Well, I still have December and I am hoping, just patiently bidding my time that when 31st comes, I am on my way to Zanzibar. Well, Zanzibar is the ultimate reward for this journey when I finally get the 66!

At the beginning of this year, I resigned from my job, looking for not so greener pastures. I quit my job with 0 savings or earnings. I was flat broke. My parents were up in arms when I told them I wanted to take this journey, this path, that ideally has/had 5 things on a to do list with a subliminal 6th, which was already guaranteed from the start.

On my list, I wanted to open and run a restaurant, which I have done and are doing. This restaurant itself is a chapter in my future autobiography. On that list was to make 66 million. On that list was to start a company and everything it entails. Well, on the list of 5 things, I am at 78%, and almost completing this list hopefully before Christmas. I forgot to add a few things on this list which was HAPPINESS!

Like the hustle chronicles, I have had to hustle. I have had to sleep in the dingiest of motels in towns far far away. I have had to swallow deworming tablets. I have spent countless sleepless nights. I have taken the night bus, more than 5 or 6 times now. I have learnt the importance of savings even with 0 savings. I have learnt that if it pays you, you shouldn’t even think twice about doing it. Just do it. I have learnt to say NO. Sometimes you can’t do everything. Sometimes you have to let go of the small things and focus on the main thing. I have learnt what I value most in life. I have learnt that the office desk is the shittiest place to be. I have quit two jobs this year (People are just looking for their first). One was more than amazing but sometimes, you’ve got to let foolishness take over. I mean, I once travelled for a straight 20 hours!

I have learnt that the human spirit and will is something that cannot be messed with. I have learnt to be confident and trust in myself. I have learnt that age only counts as age. You are never too old or too young to do anything. Just do it. I have learnt that being involved in everything is the quickest way to gain experience. Again, just do it. I have learnt that what really counts is second impressions. The first is not always a guarantee. I have learnt the value of money. I have learnt that being broke is at most times an amazing feeling. I have learnt that your plans are never straight forward. I have learnt to travel light. Always travel light.

I am broke. I mean, my account has minimum balance or something but I am hopeful. I no longer see value in spending on something that is not in anyway going to make me more money is really stupid. I am grateful for the many lessons I have learnt, and I am ready now, ready for the year of 2015, the year of 27.

And that’s my time folks, I have the 22% to look for.

I am not 24!

Hey, I am not complaining here. Take a chill pill. Kick back, relax a little, and let me fucking explain. Excuse my french, but I need to demystify.

About two months or so ago, as I was hanging around the bar, I started a conversation with my ex or not ex girlfriend. We never really got to the dating part so I am not sure I can call her that. It pretty much ended before it even started. Whilst I am talking to her, she implies that she’s dating an older man, and I then proceed to ‘analyse’ the situation for her and why she’s not exactly happy.

Older men never really sympathise with young ladies/women mostly because they see no reason as to why they should do it. They can find another and so these ladies are put in a rather complicated situation where they almost have no say in the relationship because he’s bossy and has not time to waste and thus…blah blah blah. This is not supposed to be what I am talking about.

Anyway, amidst the conversation, we go to the whole why we never really dated and she said that I was young. And puzzled, I wondered how young she thought I was. She said 24! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I most definitely burst out laughing. 24? That’s ions of years ago. I was 24 not so long ago but a long time ago. And amused, she wonders how old I am, and I do tell her my age. Perplexed, she also bursts out laughing with the subliminal notion that she would have paid more attention. She muses at how she thought I was the same age as my young brother. We have a good laugh and go our separate ways.

Not so long ago, in a whatsapp conversation I was having, a friend asks how old I am. I decline with the notion that she should guess, and she says 24. Hey, I know its 2014 but hahahahahaha, I also burst out laughing in text. Really? 24, again? I muse and tell her I am definitely much older than that.

Again, not so long ago, at friends, birthday, I WAS CALLED 24!

Hey, I AM NOT 24. I once was, don’t wish I am now, as I have grown and rather added some knowledge and prosperity but unlike most ladies, I don’t like to be called young.

Was 24 significant? I am not sure! I hope it may be.

But hey, I was 24 almost 3 years ago.


This is the news at 9:00pm on NTV. Once again, the government has been found corrupt, squandering the little public funds. Today, 2.68 billion shillings was shared amongst the top brass while they were discussing how to pay your salaries you public servants. Yesterday it was 13 billion on a road that has everyone talking and for some reason whose works have not stopped even after being told to, and the day before that, it was a Chinese company that was contracted to do a job and was paid 3 times the amount it would have cost the government but because your uncle has opened the doors to state house, he bagged the two thirds. This is the news at 9:00pm.

This is the news at 9:00pm. Students finish their Primary Leaving Examinations and the Parliament sat down again to discuss about setting up a committee to discuss about the other committees that have been set up to fight the top brass from being overly greedy. Why can’t they eat little and leave some for them too. Don’t they know that sharing is caring? Do they care that 1000 students missed exams because it was raining inside their classrooms? That these same students used sticks as pens? Yes, this is the news at 9:00pm.

This is the news at 9:00pm. THIS IS THE NEWS AT 9:00 PM. Our parliament is up in arms. They are fighting each other. They are not fighting for their people but for their own person, that person who’s not on the list that is getting allowances for being on a committee that is fighting against people squandering money. Who’s going to set up the committee to manage this committee? They are fighting to be on as many committees.

This is not the news at 9:00pm. Youth are still fighting to get jobs but the President says that Public Universities should only teach sciences. I don’t even know what he means by sciences. This is not the news at 9:00pm. There are dilapidated hospitals where people pass on faster than they pass in. This is not the news at 9:00pm. The police stopped me, threatened to give me a ticket if I didn’t give them something. This is not the news at 9:00pm. Corruption is now a lifestyle. Only question, is it really corruption. This is not the news at 9:00pm. There’s a white African president. This is not the news at 9:00pm. Youth have now resorted to employing themselves. This is not the news at 9:00pm. Pensioners have still not been paid. This is not the news at 9:00pm. Kampala now at blistering 300 C. This Is Not The News.

Stop. Just stop for second now. You know this already. You don’t even watch the news because, well, they said the same thing yesterday, and the day before, and the day before the day before yesterday. In fact, I am boring you with all this nonsense about corruption. About what’s right in society and what’s wrong. This is not the fucking news. At 9:00pm, I was still in the bar, on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday too. Well, I rested a little on Friday but was definitely at the bar when the news was being read.

You know what’s really awesome about the news? That nice looking anchor, with her sexy cotton dress. Oh, the way she speaks. The way she speaks. I love the news. Oh hold on, did you watch Bukedde? Maybe that’s the real news. The stories being told about the people, and their lifestyle, and about that boda boda man who refused to bathe the whole community was called into action. This is the news. Did you see her leaked nudes, her photo is all over the news. This is the news. Uganda, almost qualified again for the African Cup. This is the real news. This is the news everyday except at 9:00pm.